How You Can Get a Spanking

🤔 Seems like Joey should be writing this post as he apparently is an expert at getting himself spanked! 😅

fm belt and paddle spanking
“Still shots from the “Joey Gets Wrecked” Spanking Video

There are a lot of reasons why people want or feel the need to get spanked. And as we’ve shared previously, we feel that as long as it is safe, sane and consensual, that it really is none of anyone’s business as to the reason why someone wants to get spanked. We are long time spankos and know first hand, the benefits of fun spankings, therapeutic spankings, stress relieving spankings, and of course, as you know…disciplinary spankings.

fm belt spankingTherefore, I wanted to do an blog post to try and help as many as possible, get the spanking they want, or feel they need/deserve. So…if you feel you want and/or need a good spanking…read on!

First there are two groups of people to address – People with a significant other, and people without a significant other. Let’s start with the latter.

How to Get Spanked if you DON’T have a Significant Other

If you don’t have a significant other…how best can you find someone to spank you? Well, Joey and I put our heads together and came up with the following.

A Close Friend – Now the knee jerk reaction to this may likely be, “Uh…no way.” 🤨 but there are some people who have a friend (or friends), with whom they’ve told their deepest, darkest secrets to or vice versa. THAT is a friend who would likely do what they could to accommodate your request. You could do it in a variety of ways, and either make it a “fun” thing, OR a not so fun thing (as far as the type of spanking). But yes, I know…it can be a tall order to even think about approaching a friend with that request no matter how close you are with them. So…next!

Local Munches – As Joey touched upon briefly in his eBook “How to Get Your Girlfriend or Wife to Spank You“, you can look online for “munches” in your area. A “munch” is usually a non-sexual, casual get together, for those interested or involved in some sort of BDSM. There you can find many people interested, or proficient in giving (or receiving) spankings, and you can explore that conversation with them during these gatherings. Keep in mind, it might take a meeting or two before you get comfortable enough to approach that subject with someone, but that’s OK. Many have, and many will continue to do so. Again, this may be a hard “no” for many, so we’ll continue on.

woman wearing sandals and holding a leather punishment strap

A Professional Spanker – Believe it or not, most decent sized cities, have professional spankers in or around the area. However…in this scenario, you’re obviously going to have to pay for their services. But there are benefits to seeing a professional. There generally isn’t any, (or as much) awkwardness, that you might feel, if you ask a friend, or someone you recently met at a munch, to spank you. These are professionals who do this for a living. The other benefit is that they know what the hell they are doing. Obviously important in any “impact play” scenario. This of course is in stark contrast to a friend, who likely does NOT know what they are doing, and well, unintended injury could occur. Lastly, a professional will ask you what you’re looking for…the how’s, the why’s, and the end result you desire. They know the questions to ask, so you get EXACTLY what you’re looking for without crossing any boundaries. The downside to this, is that they are not cheap. Obviously price depends on the area they are in, but from my initial research, I found it to be anywhere from $300 to $500 an hour! 👋🏼🍑

Spanking Machines – If you’re OK with spending money to get a spanking, the above option may be the winning ticket. But, for even LESS money you could also buy a spanking machine. Yes! Such a thing exists. Actually two that we know of. The first spanking machine that Joey showed me many, many years ago, was called Robospanker. However…I just looked at their website, which directed me to their NEW website for the RoboSpanker, and…the spanking machine is no where to be found on that site. 🙁 Just some spanking benches and other items. I did fill out a form on their contact page, asking if they still sell it. If they do, I’ll provide an updated link to it.

spanking machine The OTHER spanking machine we found is called “Spanker Machine”. This unit appears to be a bit smaller in size, which is good for convenience. We had talked to them previously about them shipping us out a unit to use in one of our videos, and they were going to do it, but were short on materials to make them at the time. Then we failed to follow up to finalize that deal. But we recently reached out again, and they are sending us a unit to do just that. So…Joey is going to be getting a spanking from this spanking machine in the not too distant future!

UPDATE: We DID received it, and Joey DID get a spanking from it! Check out…

Joey’s Spanking Machine Spanking

The nice thing about buying a spanking machine, is that you can pretty much get spanked at YOUR convenience, and in the privacy & comfort of your own home. You also won’t have to keep paying someone each time you want or need a spanking, which can add up pretty quickly.

self spanking with bath brushSelf Spanking – If all else fails, you CAN spank yourself! It might seem to be an odd  thought, but it is something that you can do in the privacy of your own home, don’t have to ask anyone, don’t have to go anywhere, don’t have to pay anyone, or buy any thing. But you might have to work on your flexibility 😉. We’ve seen quite a few videos on SpankingTube, where both men and women spank themselves. The most common implements are small paddles, wooden spoons or bath brushes. But I would imagine a sandal would be a good option as well given its size. We’ve also seen people using a strap or leather belt.

Granted, many will tell you that it is not the same as someone else spanking you, but…that is kind of already understood, right? Of course it won’t be. But if you have not yet found that special someone to tan your hide, a good self spanking can “bring the sting” to your backside in the interim. 🙌

Now for those actually looking for a girlfriend who spanks, you can use traditional methods, like meeting a friend of a friend (read: blind date), meeting someone at a club or bar, and of course the now common online dating services. There are two roads here as well…

man typing on laptopYou can use a mainstream dating services like Zoosk, eharmony & match (plus many more), but…did you know that there are kink-friendly dating services? Sure, if you use a mainstream service, you might have a bigger selection of potential partners to look at, and reach out to. But if you do start dating them, you’ll likely have to apply some of the methods (if not all), outlined in Joey’s eBook to work towards introducing spankings to your new mate. But, on a kink-friendly dating service, you can put your spanking interest right on your profile, AND even search for potential partners who are into spanking as well. So if you do connect with someone on said service, you have a much more direct, and shorter distance to getting that spanking that you’re hoping for. And more importantly, a potential long term relationship.

We found one of the oldest and largest networks for kink minded people. And after vetting them out further, we found out that they have an in-house team who are always on the lookout for fake profiles and accounts within their system. They also have an algorithm to spot these fake accounts and profiles. They are very proactive in this regard, and so we feel they could be a good place to look for like minded people in your area. So we became an affiliate for them. (Meaning we may get compensated for directing people their way. But just so you know, it won’t cost YOU anything extra 😉) .

find your wicked queen bannerAnother thing we like about this website, is that it can tell what area you are searching from, and will show you potential matches close to your area. There could be a spanking match very close to you, that you otherwise may not have known about! So if you’re looking to get your butt spanked, it might be worth checking out.

Now, to circle back to “People who already have a significant other”.

Two approaches within this as well. The first, is straight up talking to your partner and communicating what you’re looking for as it pertains to spanking. Fun spankings/funishment, stress relief spankings, behavior modification spankings, or disciplinary spankings. Or perhaps a combination of those. This is how Joey approached me. BUT…friendly reminder that we had been involved in spanking for many, many years when he asked me to provide REAL DD spankings. So it wasn’t a shock to me at all.

But if your partner and you haven’t engaged in any sort of spanking before, then you might think twice about the head on approach. It could set the conversation back for quite a while if you catch your partner off guard with your request. However, if you think you have a good open dialog with your partner, and that you can broach the subject with them without freaking them out, then perhaps one of these blog posts could help. In fact, we’ve heard from many readers that the following blog posts have.

Why Women Should Consider a F/m Spanking Relationship – This comprehensive blog post is over 3200 words long, and covers quite a bit of ground as it pertains to the benefits, and the how and why this makes sense for many couples. Note: This was written from a F/m perspective as that is our situation, but we’ve heard from others in various scenarios (M/f, F/f, M/m), and even couples who spank both ways. Regardless of orientation, the concepts within it can help open some lines of communication on this topic.

man bending over chairMany found this post to be very helpful it opening up their partner’s eyes to the possibility of adding a spanking element to their relationship. But shortly after it was published and read…we started hearing quite a few…”My partner is afraid to hurt me, or doesn’t want to hurt me.” Which in retrospect is a natural thought. I mean, we don’t naturally want to “hurt” our significant other right? So I came up with the follow up post…

Can You Spank Your Husband Without Feeling Bad – Again written from “our” perspective but it could apply in most orientations. Anyway, this is a good read that breaks down potential causes for those feelings, the power and importance of communication to work through it, and the reassurance many needed to take that next step.

The final post that I like to share with couples looking to start “this thing of ours”, is a post that actually precedes the two posts mentioned above, but is a very real life example of one of the benefits of having a spanking relationship like this.

Breaking His Bad Habits – Wait…our husbands don’t have bad habits, do they? 🙄 Jeez where to start right? fm dd otk hairbrush spankingActually…Joey doesn’t really have bad habits. ANYMORE. 😉 While I’ve heard from family and friends whose husbands do a variety of things that drive them crazy, this post clearly explains something that Joey used to do that drove me crazy, until I “addressed it” with him. And now, to this day, and many years later, he still doesn’t do that habit. We have the power ladies!

And finally, if you still are not wanting to address it with your significant other in the ways mentioned above…there IS the “flying under the radar” approach, that Joey spent his life perfecting, and shares what he did, and how he did it, in his eBook – How To Get Your GF or Wife to Spank You. In that book he mostly focuses on ways and methods to get your existing GF or wife to spank you. And shares his tried and true methods (over basically the majority of his time of having girlfriends), and that have apparently worked well in getting his GF’s to spank him. 🙋

So there you have it. A good list of various ways to get spanked, with supporting resources. Good luck! And as we always like to say…be careful what you wish for. 😉

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Nicely written, Jess! i would just like to add one component to the section regarding self-spanking. Through fetlife or other sites (even Facebook), a spankee can connect with a Spanker who believes the same as they do regarding spanking. Most times, this will be somebody that is close in philosophy but far in geographic distance. But with webcams the two can have a webcam chat in which the Spanker takes control of the spankee and can direct the spankee to self-spank however the Spanker wishes it to be delivered (type of implement, number of times, positions to be in for it, etc.) This method can also be very good for spankees who want/need a Spanker’s voice in their ear, scolding and lecturing them as the spankee carries out the punishment. It’s worked for me in the past, and in some cases did not work out so well. Again, communication and connection are key to make this work like anything else. It’s still not as good as actually surrendering control and being put in position for the Spanker to spank, but it IS something that can work for both.


This something I been searching for all my life. For a woman to place me over her lap and spank my bare bottom with only using her hand till I cry. They just don’t exist. Why so expensive for a spanking if this to true? I might even go there three to four times a week.


I am a beginner but all my life been looking for her. If you know of any beautiful lady in Puerto Rico that’s willing to do me this favor maybe I might contract her for two to three times a week . I want to quit smoking and done everything. Please help.


The hand delivers that smack very well, and you feel that she is really giving you attention. I think that is the spanking I been searching for. Women say they exist but here on this island it’s very hard to find one. Maybe I’m not asking it the way I should, but need to have that experience in my life. I’ve seen it happened to other guys when I was very young, but I didn’t get to feel that. I don’t know…maybe she will start spanking me and will ask her to stop. Maybe I won’t be able to take it. I don’t know yet.. thanks again.


I just once answered her sarcastically recently. It resulted in a FAST FIFTY SWATS OTL with her largest Bath Brush. She didn’t even break a sweat! She calmly went back to her gardening while I was blubbering in tears standing in the corner & still with my pants and underwear at my ankles. Have you ever given Joey a fast fifty in anger?


I am 73 now, and still get realistic otk spankings – real ones if I trust my spanker. Both men and women. I am intelligent, and argue with Adults, who accuse me of being a smart mouth when I don’t admit that I am wrong (often because I am not, but…). I really should just make myself apologize. This gets me in trouble, often over the knee “learning a lesson.” Some of the lessons have changed my behavior, for a while. Then OTK again. I see professional spankers or very experienced amateurs. Self spank as well. For me a spanking has to hurt! I beg, plead, promise…it doesn’t work. But I need it. It is expensive but I get what I need. The corner? Before and after. I get noisy but I keep my bottom in place, which is my duty and desire. I always thank my spankers. I helped one of them out of a bad IRL jam. Hard spanking and sincere aftercare are my best reward. I love that!


Ever since she broke her hairbrush whacking my butt, She has been using her bath brush to destroy my backside. So I bought a wooden Hair brush as a present for her for which to spank me. So far she still using her bath brush for punishment spankings. She said, “I just love how quiet & meek you get when you see it laying at the foot of our bed.”


Reading your blog has really put things in perspective. My wife and I have been in the lifestyle of DD for awhile now. Here lately we have been finding it hard to do things because of the hours we work. We hardly see each other except on the weekends. While reading your blog I seen the part about a spanking machine, and thought, they really make these things? I looked up the one you spoke of and ordered it. I must say it hurts and after using it for the first time last night I’m still feeling the spanking. Although it’s nothing like my wife delivering a well deserved spanking on my bare bottom. Thank you for your insight and your blog. I think you both are great. If I may add, spankings helped my marriage stay intact, a lot of times my moods and attitude can get out of control and when spankings were introduced (me being spanked) it felt like a ton of bricks were lifted. One again Thank you both so very much.


Hey J.Davis! Thanks for the comment. Glad you found us. Yeah, I’ll be putting ours together and getting it ready for its video debut in the not too distant future. What implement did you use with yours? Seems like the obvious choice is the cane, but I’ll be testing other items as well. And I totally get what you’re saying about how spankings can relieve tension, and re-calibrate our mood and attitude. Have a great week man!


My wife told me to use a cane and bath brush. The machine was set to max and the timer was at 5 minutes, each time. Today at work I can still feel the effects. I would like to also say Thank you both for sharing your experiences with the lifestyle, your stories have helped my wife and I a tremendous amount.


Great article. I have been searching for years and years to find a female to place me over her lap and spank my bare bottom with only using her hand. Haven’t found her even unless I pay. Here in Puerto Rico they all think it’s about sex, when all I want is the experience of good a old fashion spanking over her knee with her hand. Thanks.


It was the end of March & I brought home fake snakes, and bugs from a joke & magic shop. I placed them strategically around the house to scare the hell out of her. She hates bugs! After a few days of this she’d had enough! “Go to our room & choose 3 instruments and be in position to receive the spanking of your life”. I thought she was overreacting and said so. “Don’t argue or I give you double the swats”. So there I was, nude from the waste down, waiting in apprehension for a real blistering. Lying at the foot of our bed with a cold bottom. So a Hour went by and then another hour. SUDDENLY my phone rang: I answered, and she said: Are you ready & in position for your spanking of your life dear? I said yes Dear! “Well I decided to go shopping instead! “APRIL FOOL” she was cackling with laughter! So, my love what would you like for supper? LOL


I can vouch that women do exist that like to spank. My late wife started out slow but years later became so turned on giving spankings that we did it every Saturday. She even began getting severe when needed like having me ice down my butt before so it would sting more and giving penalties for moving or swearing. I miss her.

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