We have a saying we like to use as it pertains to this domestic discipline lifestyle we partake in. That is…”Safe, sane & consensual.” That’s extremely important to us and we hope that the readers of our blog feel the same way. While we are VERY open minded to what others do and believe in the, “to each their own” mantra; we DO NOT condone abuse or anything that is not “safe, sane & consensual”.

We often talk about the importance of communication and feel this is KEY when in, or testing the waters in this type of relationship. Communication is important in ANY relationship, but even more so before entering into any type of FLR or DD agreement. And especially important before, during and after any discipline sessions. Understanding each others thoughts, perceptions, experiences and expectations is helpful for any relationship, but it is vital when you have an element of domestic discipline as part of the relationship.

Domestic Discipline Spankings

post spanking f/mThe spankings that I receive are likely considered harsh by most and yet, “not enough” to others. That’s because it is a relative thing. People build up tolerances to lots of things. We have been in the spanking realm for quite a long time and my ability to take a good spanking has increased significantly over the years. With that said, one shouldn’t try or expect to be at the same level that we are at as it pertains to spanking severity. In fact, that level of spanking may never ever be needed in many relationships. And that’s perfectly fine too! Each couple will have their own nuances and things that work for them and things that don’t. Again, this is where communication comes in to define that. Without it, you could try something you think you want, and it be ruined for you forever. For example, if someone wanted to start eating hot peppers but instead trying a small bite of a jalapeño (2500 to 8000 scoville units), they take a large bite out of a Carolina Reaper (currently the hottest pepper in the world at 1.4 to 2.2 MILLION scoville units)…they are going to be in for a terrible experience. One that could turn them off from ever trying another hot pepper again.

holding pepper on fireNo one who can now eat these hotter peppers or sauces in the world, started out with them right off the bat. They worked their way up to them by eating less hot ones first. And by doing so, their tolerance to handle the heat increased. And to parallel my point, some will find that a nice medium heat pepper is where they like to be, and others may like peppers on the lower end of the heat spectrum. To which I say…Good! Whatever works for them. Don’t take the whuppin’s I get as a standard for you to want to achieve. Some day you might end up there or you might end up somewhere else. If you are going down this road, the right level of whuppin’ is…the right level for you and your partner.

Which brings me to my wonderful and very capable spanker, my wife. She didn’t just start with the most severe implement and start swinging. Again, we had years upon years where spankings were part of our foreplay and lovemaking. An example that came to mind as I’m writing this, is…if you’ve never driven a fast car before and get in the drivers seat of a high powered muscle car, and “put the pedal to the medal”, you’re going to quickly be out of control and likely wreck. It would be better to start off with a less powerful car and learn the ins and outs of it, until you’re ready for the next faster car up. Or if you’re in a really fast car and you’re not experienced with driving them. Lightly press the pedal and keep it in control.

Spankings Are Physical

woman and man lifting weightsSpanking is obviously a very physical thing. During a spanking your heart rate will likely increase as adrenaline kicks in. So it is a good idea for the spankee to be in physical shape or condition to be able to handle that.

We are providing our experiences based on US and only us. I’m in decent shape, my cardio is good and so we do what we do, with that in mind. Please understand that we can’t, don’t want and refuse to make those decisions for you. You need to view your own situation and act accordingly. We kind of felt that was implicit but thought it wise to literally point it out as our audience continues to increase.

holding hands at beachAdditionally, the spanker needs to be aware of safety in this regard too. Giving a spanking is a physical thing for the person swinging and can get their blood pumping. They need to also be in a physical condition where they can mete out the types of spankings they’re giving. Also, important for them to keep their partner’s safety in the forefront of their mind as well as it pertains to the implement they are using and where it is landing on said partner. For example, if swinging a belt, strap or cane, make sure you know your distance, so that it doesn’t wrap around and catch your partner in the front. Or if swinging a heavy or hard implement, make sure you know and are mindful of where the tail bone is (and above) and steer clear of that area. Common sense has to prevail. Part of what we share and write, will hopefully provide some insight but we can’t possibly think of every scenario to provide a disclaimer for.

But by taking things slowly, communicating about what’s going on and being safe, sane and consensual…we feel that this lifestyle can provide new levels of love, trust and intimacy.