So as you know, we recently started promoting and selling a spanking machine, called The Spanker Machine. Well, I knew that we wouldn’t sell it without testing it out, and Jess turned down my offer that we test it on her. She even gave me a swat for asking. š
But we didn’t have a solid timeline of when it would happen. Just…”sometime soon”.
Well, sooner came a lot sooner than I thought. Jess had plans today to take her sister out to lunch and shopping, and when she came into my office to kiss me goodbye, she said, “So…in thinking about it, the spanking machine is something that many will utilize by themselves. So I want you to set it up and get a good spanking from it. I want it video recorded, and I want marks on your backside Joseph. You’re due for a good spanking anyway. So, my Robo-Mini-Me is going to tan your backside. I want you to use the Wicked Switch, the wooden Bath Brush, and The White Lightning Cane.” š³
I immediately protested, “Jess! I have no idea what that thing is going to do.” To which she calmly responded, “Well, we’re going to find out huh? And then she continued, “I’m going to watch the video later tonight, and if I am not happy with it, and if I DON’T see marks are your backside, you’re going to get the Wicked Switch from ME for not following a direct order. I assure you, you do NOT want that. So…figure it out, and take your spanking.
Then she smiled, kissed me and sauntered out the door.
Shit. I was pretty sure that this spanking machine couldn’t match what Jess can do, and so I knew I didn’t want to get the Wicked Switch from her later tonight. So I had to make it “good”. On the bright side, I thought…she didn’t really give me a number count or time to go on swats, so…I had that going for me. I just needed to show her a video of me getting it and make sure I got marks. Ok…I set off.
Seeing how she told me the specific order of implements as the Wicked Switch…
The Wooden Bath Brush…
and the White Lightning Cane…
I didn’t want to chance not putting them in that order, and getting the switch from her as a result of it. Especially since the video would tell all. So…I did it in that exact order.
Putting the Wicked Switch into this spanking machine not knowing what was going to happen, was quite an ominous feeling. But I got it situated and laid down on the bed. I set the controller on MAX and pressed the on button. Immediately I heard the machine fire up and then the first lash landed. I had the strangest of reactions/feelings upon first lash, the initial brain waves signaled “pain”, but I was somewhat grateful that it wasn’t the EXCRUCIATING pain that normally comes from the Wicked Switch. But I didn’t have much time to think because this thing spanks at a rate of 1 swat/lash per second! *Note: On this new model, you can do the random mode where it mixes up the timing. But I just went on the “ON” mode to get it over with, and because I needed to get some marks on my backside, to appease the Wicked Queen!
I moved around a bit to emulate a real spanking. Including moving into position to take some lashes higher up on my butt, and on the upper backs of my legs, as Jess will often do. But to keep it real, The first 5 or so I took all in the same place, and I WANTED to move, so the next lash wasn’t in the same exact spot. Oh yeah, this thing can bring some sting! Also moving around during the spanking, can do two things. 1) It can help find that “sweet spot” where it stings really bad. 2) It can reduce the sting if you get too close to it, or don’t give it the chance to do a full swing. This was especially true with the wooden bath brush. But more on that later. So I obviously couldn’t see my butt as it was getting spanked, and just tried to take as much as I could. After watch the video back, I lasted 125 lashes with the Wicked Switch, and you can tell near the end, it was starting to hurt pretty good.
I then put in the Wooden bath brush and I had it lined up pretty good, that when I started the spanking machine, you could hear the loud SMACK from the bath brush spanking my butt. I took around 25 in the same spot, then thought I would try to move around to get to other spots on my butt. This is where I ran into some trouble. In retrospect, I think I had the machine positioned too low to move around like I was trying to. It would have been better to just take a spanking on one butt cheek, then do a 180 myself, so the other butt cheek would get some “attention”. When I did find some “sweet spots” it felt more like an enjoyable spanking. Part of this could be that I had just gotten it with the switch and so by comparison, it wasn’t as bad, but I could still feel some good sting when I was positioned correctly. I ended up taking 119 swats with the bath brush.
Last but not least, the Lexan cane we call White Lightning, came into play. As I mentioned in my initial setup and test. I couldn’t fit this cane into the spanking machine’s implement holder as the girth of the cane’s handle was too big in diameter. But I was easily able to pull the handle off, then it fit easily. And as I learned from my test, the Lexan cane moved around because of how smooth it is. So I cut a finger from a rubber BBQ glove, and put that on the end of the cane that was going into the holder, which helped it grip it and not move around. After I got it set up, I “assumed the position”. In retrospect in watching the video, again, I think I had the spanking machine positioned too low.
That said, it still was bringing some sting. And some positions I got into provided some pretty good lashes, with pretty good sting. I ended up taking 90 lashes with it. Funny side note, I didn’t set out with any numbers in mind, I just wanted to get a spanking with some marks so that Jess wouldn’t light me up when she got home. But it is funny how the numbers kept diminishing…125…119…90.
So, then I went to the mirror and looked at my backside. I could see marks, and I could feel my butt had gotten spanked. So I took a picture just in case the marks didn’t last as long, or look as bad, so I could show Jess, that I “got the marks”. I put away the spanking machine and then I transferred the video files to my computer to start looking through them and get a start on editing them.
She kissed me and then immediately asked me to take my pants and underwear down so she could see my butt. I was somewhat confident that achieved the level of marks that she wanted. But…NO.
“Hmmm, yeah, there are some marks, but not like you SHOULD have gotten. Come with me.” she said as she started towards our bedroom. I pleaded, “But Jess, I took a lot of lashes, I did.” She calmly said, “Are you arguing with me? Do you want me to add more to what I’m already going to give you?” “No Ma’am.” She walked into our room, and dammit all to hell, I had left our footlocker open that has a majority of our implements in it. “Well, well, well…what do we have here?” She stated as she walked right to it, reached down and pulled out the razor strap.
Then she reached down and picked up her current favorite paddle…
And of course the Wicked Switch (already pictured above).
“Since you didn’t follow my directions, I’m going to give you some marks myself.” She said, as she put the switch and paddle on the bed, and held onto the razor strap. Then said those fateful words, “Bend over.”
My heart sank. I hadn’t gotten it with the razor strap in a long time, and I remember the end of it “bites” just off the side of my butt, which hurts like freaking hell. But I didn’t want to argue and so I took down my pants and underwear and bent over the end of the bed. And without saying anything, I heard the razor strap jingle and felt the first lash which almost took my breath away. I grunted out in pain, and the second landed, then the third. I think I got around 10 or so with than, when she tossed it onto the bed in front of me, and I watched her hand pick up the paddle. I was actually slightly relieved that the razor strapping was done, when the first SMACK of the paddle landed. Some consolation prize. If you have seen the free preview on SpankingTube, or have bought our “Joey Gets Wrecked” video, you know how hard Jess spanks with this paddle, and the damage it can do.
Anyway, I was grateful that she only gave me around 5 or 6 swats with that. Then she tossed that onto the bed in front of me, and picked up the Wicked Switch. Again, I could feel the fear in the pit of my stomach and felt like crying right then and there. Some tough guy huh? And she didn’t disappoint with the severity, but she only gave me a handful of lashes with it. And I cried out with each lash.
“There!” she said. “Those are marks. Now pick up all these implements and put them away.” she sternly commanded and left the room. I went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror and holy smokes…she did a number on my butt with that razor strap. I think that’s why she didn’t give me as many with the paddle and the switch. I was actually a little afraid to ask her to come back in and take pictures of my backside, so I just took them myself.
While the aftermath of what happened to me from Jess, overshadowed my spanking machine spanking, I’m here to tell you that it is a pretty awesome little machine! Capable of giving most people more of a spanking, then they probably care to receive!
To watch the full 334 lashes/swats from the spanking machine, check out…Spanking Machine Spanks Joey.
Very nice account of the two spankings, Joey! my hunch was right that while the machine was effective, nothing can duplicate the focused intensity of The Wicked Queen! Again, Joey, you are one lucky guy! Now iād like to request that you three make a video together with Jess and Spanky (there, i named it for you) alternating spanks on your upturned bare bottom! Good luck with THAT!
LOL to “Spanky”. Yeah, not sure what’s in store for me with that, but Jess did mention that she likes the idea of me having to set it up, for my own spanking. That was a unique experience. I also tested some different heights with it, and found that the right height and the right implement, can make a huge difference in the intensity of the spanking. I’ll have to do an updated post and maybe another video (yikes), showing how it can be set up for “more sting”…what am I DOING?! š
I am not surprised that she could deliver a much harder spanking than the machine. She will always have that final say. I am sure that machine does well enough for those that are not used to when she can deliver.
Yeah, this particular spanking machine shines in convenient size and easy set up. And I did some testing with it over the weekend, and found that finding the right height, and using the “right” implement can make a big difference in sting. I’ll have to so a follow up. But my backside still needs to fully heal. LOL