We had a great relationship before incorporating REAL spankings into our lives, but we both feel domestic discipline has added new levels of closeness, trust, and love into our relationship. Just one of the reasons I think there is a lot of benefit to domestic discipline spankings is that it reduces unnecessary tension that can organically happen in a couple’s daily life.
For example, think of a bad habit your husband has or something that he does that is a pet peeve of yours. Let me help…have you ever thought to yourself, “Why can’t I get him to put the damn toilet seat down?!” Or maybe he leaves his dirty clothes just lying on the floor instead of putting them into the laundry basket or hamper and you end up having to pick up after him. Ring any bells? All men have bad habits. BUT…we don’t have to put up with them.
So one of my complaints was when he would go to put on a shirt, he’d pull his shirt off the hanger and leave the hanger on the rack. The problem is that we have a fairly large walk in closet and he has a lot of shirts. So, as doing laundry is one of MY household responsibilities. When it came time to hang up the clean shirts, I would have to go through the entire side of his closet to hunt and find empty hangers to hang the clean clothes…which was a pain in my freakin’ butt! Well, let me tell you, I didn’t put up with it for long.
So in a non-spanking relationship, the normal timeline of events would be that you talk to him about his bad habit and nicely ask him to not do that anymore. But…it happens again. So then you ask him again, maybe not so nicely and maybe he complies for a day. But…then it happens again. Now you find your self nagging or even bitching about it to him, each time with increasing feelings of annoyance or frustration. And, every time it continues to happen thereafter, those feelings of annoyance or frustration, turn into anger and/or resentment. Thinking, “How inconsiderate of him?”, etc.
On the other side of this coin…while you’re going through these negative feelings, he is oblivious. In most cases, he isn’t trying to make you upset. He just doesn’t think about it as there are NO REAL CONSEQUENCES for him, save for occasional griping from you, which most men seem to be able to handle with relative ease via their “selective hearing” capabilities. In most cases, the problem will never go away and it’ll remain a tension point for you, for years and years to come. Ugh! Now add this to any other situations like it and it can be very TOXIC to any relationship.
So…back to my man’s bad habit with the hangers. I simply told him that at any moment’s notice, I may go into our closet for a hanger check. And every empty hanger I found would earn him two swats or lashes with whatever I felt like swinging. Could be a sandal, a belt or something as evil as the cane or wicked switch. He seemed intrigued at the concept, smiled and said he’d be more careful. But after a couple weeks passed, I did my first check and found 12 hidden hangers.
I pulled them out, threw them onto the bed then called him to our room. He came in and the look on his face when he saw those hangers on the bed was priceless! He knew what was coming and nervously asked, “How many are there?” “You go count them and tell ME.”, I said quite sternly as I unbuckled my leather belt and started to take it off. He grimaced at the sight of me taking off my belt and went over and counted 12. (It was a wise choice on his part that he didn’t try to give me a number less than the actual number…oh, I would’ve turned that into a woodshed whuppin’ for sure!)
“Twelve times two equals twenty-four.”, I proclaimed as I now had my belt in my hand, doubled over and ready for action. “Assume the position.”, I calmly stated. I almost expected him to ask for a reprieve (which he would not have gotten). To his credit, he went over to the bed, took down his shorts and underwear and bent over the end of the bed. He knew he had been warned of the consequences and now it was time to pay the price.
Without a word, I started spanking him…HARD. From the top of his butt to the upper backs of his legs, he got 12 in a row with the meanest belt I have. He was grunting and crying out with each hard lash of the belt. I walked over to the other side of the bed and laid on another harsh 12 in a row. He wasn’t full-on crying but he was hurting pretty good. I also found it quite fitting that the empty hangers he was getting it for were about 6 inches in front of him on the bed during his spanking. I’m sure he was looking at them as the belt was tearing up his backside. How’s that for a visual association?
After the 24 lashes, I started to put my belt back on and told him to go hang the hangers on the dedicated spot in our closet. He did so quickly. When he came out of the closet I informed him that when I do another hanger check the swat or lash count would now be 4 per hanger.
A couple weeks later, I found only 3. And yes, he got 12. Unfortunately for him, I felt like using my cane and did so severely. “Six of the Best” from each side. He had the welts to prove it and red marks from the cane to remind him for weeks to come.
And just like that…he was broken of his bad habit of leaving hangers hidden all throughout his side of the closet. And even better, I wasn’t even annoyed or mad when I found the initial 12. I knew he would slip up, but instead of feelings of annoyance and frustration, I felt a sense of power and forthcoming justice. I was going to address this transgression in a new and effective way while teaching him a new and improved habit.
Every once in a great while, I might find a hanger or two out of place but I no longer have feelings of anger and/or annoyance over it. All I have to do is mention it and he gets an instant look of regret and worry as he waits to see if I’m going to spank him for it or not. I often let him off the hook if it has been a while since his last slip-up. After I bring it to his attention, he is back to being very careful about where his empty hangers go. That reassures me that the good habit I have instilled is still intact. AND, if I feel that he is becoming too lax or if I feel that he may be questioning whether or not there will be consequences, I know I can implement the punishment at any time.
Having a real spanking option in our relationship has TOTALLY removed tension points between us. Actually, it has prevented many trivial issues from becoming tension points at all. Which is important because, like many “trivial” things that upset us, the feelings associated with them can easily accumulate and grow into something more than they should.
He is normally a very considerate man. But even the most considerate, well-meaning men can benefit from proper “training”. Real domestic discipline provides both incentive and motivation to facilitate that training. 😉.
Rest assured ladies, in our house…the toilet seat is always down, his clothes are always in the hamper, and the hidden hanger hunts are now a thing of the past.