Breaking His Bad Habits

We had a great relationship before incorporating REAL spankings into our lives, but we both feel domestic discipline has added new levels of closeness, trust, and love into our relationship. Just one of the reasons I think there is a lot of benefit to domestic discipline spankings is that it reduces unnecessary tension that can organically happen in a couple’s daily life.

toilet seat left upFor example, think of a bad habit your husband has or something that he does that is a pet peeve of yours. Let me help…have you ever thought to yourself, “Why can’t I get him to put the damn toilet seat down?!” Or maybe he leaves his dirty clothes just lying on the floor instead of putting them into the laundry basket or hamper and you end up having to pick up after him. Ring any bells? All men have bad habits. BUT…we don’t have to put up with them.

So one of my complaints was when he would go to put on a shirt, he’d pull his shirt off the hanger and leave the hanger on the rack. The problem is that we have a fairly large walk in closet and he has a lot of shirts. So, as doing laundry is one of MY household responsibilities. When it came time to hang up the clean shirts, I would have to go through the entire side of his closet to hunt and find empty hangers to hang the clean clothes…which was a pain in my freakin’ butt! Well, let me tell you, I didn’t put up with it for long.

So in a non-spanking relationship, the normal timeline of events would be that you talk to him about his bad habit and nicely ask him to not do that anymore. But…it happens again. So then you ask him again, maybe not so nicely and maybe he complies for a day. But…then it happens again. Now you find your self nagging or even bitching about it to him, each time with increasing feelings of annoyance or frustration. And, every time it continues to happen thereafter, those feelings of annoyance or frustration, turn into anger and/or resentment. Thinking, “How inconsiderate of him?”, etc.

shirts in closetOn the other side of this coin…while you’re going through these negative feelings, he is oblivious. In most cases, he isn’t trying to make you upset. He just doesn’t think about it as there are NO REAL CONSEQUENCES for him, save for occasional griping from you, which most men seem to be able to handle with relative ease via their “selective hearing” capabilities. In most cases, the problem will never go away and it’ll remain a tension point for you, for years and years to come. Ugh! Now add this to any other situations like it and it can be very TOXIC to any relationship.

So…back to my man’s bad habit with the hangers. I simply told him that at any moment’s notice, I may go into our closet for a hanger check. And every empty hanger I found would earn him two swats or lashes with whatever I felt like swinging. Could be a sandal, a belt or something as evil as the cane or wicked switch. He seemed intrigued at the concept, smiled and said he’d be more careful. But after a couple weeks passed, I did my first check and found 12 hidden hangers.

I pulled them out, threw them onto the bed then called him to our room. He came in and the look on his face when he saw those hangers on the bed was priceless! He knew what was coming and nervously asked, “How many are there?” “You go count them and tell ME.”, I said quite sternly as I unbuckled my leather belt and started to take it off. He grimaced at Taking off her beltthe sight of me taking off my belt and went over and counted 12. (It was a wise choice on his part that he didn’t try to give me a number less than the actual number…oh, I would’ve turned that into a woodshed whuppin’ for sure!)

“Twelve times two equals twenty-four.”, I proclaimed as I now had my belt in my hand, doubled over and ready for action. “Assume the position.”, I calmly stated. I almost expected him to ask for a reprieve (which he would not have gotten). To his credit, he went over to the bed, took down his shorts and underwear and bent over the end of the bed. He knew he had been warned of the consequences and now it was time to pay the price.

Without a word, I started spanking him…HARD. From the top of his butt to the upper backs of his legs, he got 12 in a row with the meanest belt I have. He was grunting and crying out with each hard lash of the belt. I walked over to the other side of the bed and laid on another harsh 12 in a row. He wasn’t full-on crying but he was hurting pretty good. I also found it quite fitting that the empty hangers he was getting it for were about 6 inches in front of him on the bed during his spanking. I’m sure he was looking at them as the belt was tearing up his backside. How’s that for a visual association?

After the 24 lashes, I started to put my belt back on and told him to go hang the hangers on the dedicated spot in our closet. He did so quickly.  When he came out of the closet I informed him that when I do another hanger check the swat or lash count would now be 4 per hanger.

A couple weeks later, I found only 3. And yes, he got 12. Unfortunately for him, I felt like using my cane and did so severely. “Six of the Best” from each side. He had the welts to prove it and red marks from the cane to remind him for weeks to come.

spanking cane

And just like that…he was broken of his bad habit of leaving hangers hidden all throughout his side of the closet. And even better, I wasn’t even annoyed or mad when I found the initial 12. I knew he would slip up, but instead of feelings of annoyance and frustration, I felt a sense of power and forthcoming justice. I was going to address this transgression in a new and effective way while teaching him a new and improved habit.

Every once in a great while, I might find a hanger or two out of place but I no longer have feelings of anger and/or annoyance over it. All I have to do is mention it and he gets an instant look of regret and worry as he waits to see if I’m going to spank him for it or not. I often let him off the hook if it has been a while since his last slip-up. After I bring it to his attention, he is back to being very careful about where his empty hangers go. That reassures me that the good habit I have instilled is still intact. AND, if I feel that he is becoming too lax or if I feel that he may be questioning whether or not there will be consequences, I know I can implement the punishment at any time.

Having a real spanking option in our relationship has TOTALLY removed tension points between us. Actually, it has prevented many trivial issues from becoming tension points at all. Which is important because, like many “trivial” things that upset us, the feelings associated with them can easily accumulate and grow into something more than they should.

He is normally a very considerate man. But even the most considerate, well-meaning men can need proper “training”. Real domestic discipline provides both incentive and motivation to facilitate that training. 😉.

Rest assured ladies, in our house…the toilet seat is always down, his clothes are always in the hamper, and the hidden hanger hunts are now a thing of the past.

Happy Spanking!

19 thoughts on “Breaking His Bad Habits

  1. This is really a very well explained reason for using domestic discipline. Plus, the level of discipline has to encourage the changing of a habit that causes stress in a relationship. Certain stresses are trivial in their own right, but easily removed, if it aggravates the spanker on a frequent basis.
    Thanks for sharing
    bottoms up
    Red

    1. Thanks Red. Nice to hear from another domestic discipline blogger. Looking forward to checking out your site as well.

  2. That’s how my wife started out. She was very strict and spanked me for every little thing I did wrong. She felt taking care of the little things will help deter the bigger things and she was right. I have really come a long way in changing my bad habits.

    1. Hi Dan, thanks for reading and your comment. Yes, IMHO…pain is a wonderful incentive and one of life’s oldest teachers. When you experience the pain from a real spanking, it will certainly be a deterrent for repeating that transgression. Glad to hear your wife is cultivating you as well!

  3. I wish the ladies would get together and write some thoughts how a man asks his wife/gf to try a F/M spanking relationship. Maybe in a format that could be directed to women. I think it could save a lot of marriages

    1. Hi Lucas and thank you for reading. Hmmmm, I think I can come up with a post to do just that. Stay tuned.

      1. I am looking forward to your post. My partner spanks me for fun. I have suggested disciplinary spanking, but she is doubtful whether something that we both find entertaining and erotic could be effective as discipline.

        1. Hi Ian and thanks for your comment. I don’t know if you’ve had a chance to read our About Us page yet, but we started out with fun spankings and evolved into what we’re doing now. So I definitely think it is possible for you to do the same! I’m starting to work on this piece now and hope to have it up in the next day or two. Hopefully I’ll be able to highlight the many benefits, to make her consider giving it a chance. Just be careful what you wish for… 😉

  4. Wow, I understand 100% and it worked for me. At first, I was hesitant about being spanked by my girlfriend, I always thought of severe spanking when I masturbated and I just loved when my gf talked of severe spanking but I seem to always find a reason to not being spanked or just after a few stroke I cannot take anymore and told her to stop. But one day, after I spent many dollars on a poker website and my gaming habit went up really fast we took a walk and told me that she was not happy with that. I promised her to stop it but it worked for a day or two and I reloaded my account. When she found out, she told me that if I continued like that, she will have no choice of leaving me but first that she had to try something and said “it will be a spanking tonight, but a real one” if you don’t accept it, I will leave tomorrow. I became very nervous and this day she wore her thick brown leather belt. After dinner, she told me to kneel in front of her and I remember every detail, she smoked a cigarette and explain me that we could not go on like it, that we need this cash to buy home, to found family etc. After her cigarette she told me to go lying on the bed and said it to me if you love me you’ll take this spanking until the end with no quitting. Then she removed a leather belt and started with full force from the beginning and I must have receive between 100 and 150 lashes. I think the first 30 were the worst after that I was kind of numb but it hurted like nothing I have experienced before. After the spanking, i cried in her arm and I said that I was so sorry. My bottom was purple for a week but I promise to never play poker online again and it worked. Since this day, I never spent a dollar on a gaming website and I am so thankful to my girlfriend. Since she didn’t have to spanked me too often (maybe 1-2 times a year) but it’s always to correct a wrong behaviour. My worst spanking was probably for stopping abusing alcohol (about 3 years ago).

    1. Hi Jeff, Thanks for sharing your experience how real spankings have corrected your bad habits. In my blog post, the infraction was a minor one compared to yours but I assure you that I have corrected his more serious infractions/bad habits with a much more serious/harsh spanking. For those who have never received a full belting like that, might not believe that a butt can be bruised for a week but we know it to be true. And we know the lessons learned from such a spanking, seem to last. I think your point is very well made that not only did this real spanking likely save your relationship, BUT…it curbed a habit that was becoming destructive to you, her and the relationship. It made you a better and more responsible person. Cheers to the both of you!

      1. Thanks for your reply, yeah belt spanking can really bruises for a week but need to be long enough and with a large number of strokes. When I receive about 30 lashes (normal spanking) it’s just red and fade away fast. However, when I receive a spanking with 100 strokes and more the bruising seems to be more important. Like I said the most severe spanking occured 3 years ago, I was drinking more and more and one night I’ve been arrogant with my gf and after she went to sleep I put on music really loud. She told me to stop the music and go to bed but I ignored her (what a bad idea). I heard the clinging of the bed and went out of the room and put her belt on the table and just told me “tomorrow you’ll regret it”. I immediately stopped the music and went to bed. The next morning I was kind of hangover and when I woke up and saw the belt on the table I had a knot in my stomach. My girlfriend was in the living room arms crossed and told me to eat a quick breakfast and go kneeling in front of her. I really took my time for this breakfast but I wanted to assume what I’ve done and executed what she told me. Her routine before a spanking is always the same, I go kneeling in front of her and she smokes a cigarette, she said that she calmed her down a little bit. While she smoked her cigarette she lectured me on how alcohol is about to destruct our relationship and that she needed to do some action to correct this including a long belt spanking. After her cigarette, she told me to go “think about that” by kneeling on the floor and she told me to masturbate until ejaculation. I had the bad idea to talked to her about the effect of spanking post ejaculation and it was the first time she used it. I tried to object to her request but with the look she gave me I knew that I had no choice to execute. So I masturbate until ejaculation. After that, I had really but really no desire to be spanked but I lied on the bed and I heard her walking, took the belt and began the most severe spanking of my life. It took about an half an hour, over 200 strokes and always on the right cheek, she didn’t change position the whole spanking so the right cheek took the most of all of lashes. Some edge lashes (btw glad that she didn’t know to do it by purpose) seemed to cut the skin but the bruising were really deep, more dark blue than purple. I had difficulty to walk this day and I had bruising for more than a week with all the colors the day after (green, yellow etc.) but I remember this spanking and really cut down alcohol. Now when we’re out with friends she always wore her belt and when I seem to be too drunk she show me her belt with her smile and immediately stop drinking. With these type of punishment, I’ve been able to be a better man and punishments are less frequent.

  5. You mentioned ‘visual association’ in your post above. I can relate to that. One of my household chores is dishes.. Although we have a dishwasher, I am to scrap dishes, load and unload the washer daily. I try to run it at night and unload in the morning. If forgotten, it falls under the category of ‘Neglecting Household Chores’ and I get spanked accordingly. After several forgetful occurrences, she brought me to the kitchen. “Put your hands on the counter over the dishwasher and bend over” she commanded. My nose was only inches from the dishwasher when she paddled me at length. Way over the number specified in a level 3 punishment for this offense. Visual association for sure.

  6. I was always given weekly “discipline” that involved corporal punishment but it was used as a review of my behavior and her giving me instructions on how she wanted me to improve and how I could be a better servant, maid, male, etc. Those weekly “sessions” included hard spanking, paddling, whipping, etc., but it always put me in a very submissive state of mind and made me want to be better for her. Punishment, however, was and is to be feared and is reserved for misbehavior or failure to meet her expectations that she felt required immediate corporal punishment to insure I recognized my mistake and was quickly put back in my place as hers and helped to remember that my obedience and service excellence was a demand I had no choice but to offer her. I was on fire after a punishment and often it would move from corporal punishment to CBT and/or put in a corner for sometimes hours while I contemplated my behavior.

    I really appreciate how your website depicts a strong, dominant woman who helps her submissive male surrender to her control and does so in a way that insures her wishes and decisions are primary.

    Thanks!

    FYI: When I click the “Follow Us” link it does not open a form to sign-up for updates by email. Just FYI.

    1. Hi scott and thank you for your comments. Also appreciate the head’s up on the “Follow Us” link. That is set up for social media profiles and we just haven’t added any. Perhaps we can make it a sign up form as you suggested.

  7. I wish there were more women like you,
    And for it to be more socially acceptable for all women to correct a man’s behavior, anywhere it occurs.
    at present time, most people call this a fetish and it is kept well hidden in the SM community.
    This should be out in the open. What if it were perfectly normal to see a man being punished by a woman in public? There would be no need for social constructs like the ‘Me Too’ movement because acts of disrespect from any man could be dealt with immediately.
    I have a few leather belts. Some are fashionable, and one, is a standard rawhide strap that I wear with jeans. My husband adores the look, and I get some curious looks from others as well. He says that he likes that it is a constant reminder to him that he had better be respectful.
    He treats me like a queen. And yes, I know that sometimes he acts up just to get some attention. Men need a woman’s attention, and they need some motivation at times. He has even told me that he needs it once in a while. I do not disappoint him. I make sure that he gets all the motivation he needs.
    Ladies…don’t knock this unless you have at least tried it. Amanda L

    1. Hi Amanda and thank you for the kind words. Always a pleasure to chat with another Woman of Power.

      You’re so right about the misconception of actual domestic discipline vs. a fetish or femdom. And yes, what a world that would be if we were able to thrash any male that disrespected or made unwelcome advances. Pain is one of life’s natural teachers and is very effective.

      I also love how you mentioned that your husband treats you like a queen. My husband does too and has been referring to me as “His Queen” for several years now. Although sometimes he feels the wrath of the “Wicked Queen”. 😉 Yes, I love wearing belts as well and they definitely serve as good reminders for my husband to keep himself in check. I wrote an article called “Sandal Associations” that I think you might appreciate, where I have associated certain sandals I wear, with certain harsh implements for spanking. If you get a chance to read it, I’d love to hear your thoughts.

      Take care!

    1. Hi Dave and thanks for your comments. While I’m not perfect, I do manage to stay on top of most of my responsibilities. There has been an occasion or two over the years where I’ve uttered the words, “I should let you spank me for that.” And he was all too eager to oblige. LOL

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