Breaking His Bad Habits

We had a great relationship before incorporating real spankings into our lives, but we both feel domestic discipline has added new levels of closeness, trust, and love to our relationship. Just one of the reasons I think there is a lot of benefit to domestic discipline spankings is that it reduces unnecessary tension that can organically happen in a couple’s daily life.

toilet seat left upFor example, think of a bad habit your husband has or something that he does that is a pet peeve of yours. Let me help. Have you ever thought to yourself, “Why can’t I get him to put the damn toilet seat down?!” Or maybe he leaves his dirty clothes just lying on the floor instead of putting them into the laundry basket or hamper, and you end up having to pick up after him. Ring any bells? All men have bad habits. BUT…we don’t have to put up with them. 🤨

So one of my complaints was that when he would go to put on a shirt, he’d pull his shirt off the hanger and leave the hanger on the rack. My issue is that we have a fairly large walk-in closet, and he has a lot of shirts. And with laundry being one of MY household responsibilities, when it came time to hang up the clean shirts, I would have to go through the entire side of his closet to hunt and find empty hangers to hang the clean clothes, which was a pain in my freakin’ butt! Well, let me tell you, I didn’t put up with it for long.

So in a non-spanking relationship, the normal timeline of events would be that you talk to him about his bad habit and nicely ask him to not do that anymore. But it happens again. So then you ask him again, maybe not so nicely, and maybe he complies for a day. But then it happens again. Now you find yourself nagging or even bitching about it to him, each time with increasing feelings of annoyance or frustration. And, every time it continues to happen thereafter, those feelings of annoyance or frustration turn into anger and/or resentment. Thinking, “How inconsiderate of him?” etc.

shirts in closet

On the other side of this coin, while you’re going through these negative feelings, he is oblivious. In most cases, he isn’t trying to make you upset. He just doesn’t think about it, as there are NO REAL CONSEQUENCES for him, save for occasional griping from you, which most men seem to be able to handle with relative ease via their “selective hearing” capabilities. In most cases, the problem will never go away, and it’ll remain a tension point for you for years and years to come. Ugh! Now add this to any other situation like this, and it can be very toxic to any relationship.

So…back to Joey’s bad habit with the hangers. I simply told him that at any moment’s notice, I may go into our closet for a hanger check. And every empty hanger I found would earn him two swats or lashes with whatever I felt like swinging. It could be a sandal, a belt, or something as evil as the cane or wicked switch. He seemed intrigued by the concept, smiled, and said he’d be more careful. But after a couple weeks passed, I did my first check and found 12 hidden hangers.

I pulled them out, threw them onto the bed, and then called him to our room. He came in, and the look on his face when he saw those hangers on the bed was priceless! He knew what was coming and nervously asked, “How many are there?” “You go count them and tell ME.”, I said quite sternly as I unbuckled my leather belt and started to take it off. He grimaced at the sight of me taking off my belt and went over and counted 12. (It was a wise choice on his part that he didn’t try to give me a number less than the actual number. Oh, I would’ve turned that into a woodshed whuppin’ for sure!)

Jess taking her belt off and doubling it over

“Twelve times two equals twenty-four,” I proclaimed as I now had my belt in my hand, doubled over, and ready for action. “Assume the position,” I calmly stated. I almost expected him to ask for a reprieve, which he would not have gotten. To his credit, he went over to the bed, took down his shorts and underwear, and bent over the end of the bed. He knew he had been warned of the consequences, and now it was time to pay the price.

Without a word, I started spanking him…HARD. From the top of his butt to the upper backs of his legs, he got 12 in a row with the meanest belt I have. He was grunting and crying out with each hard lash of the belt. I walked over to the other side of the bed and laid on another harsh 12 in a row. He wasn’t full-on crying, but he was hurting pretty good. I also found it quite fitting that the empty hangers he was getting it for, were about 6 inches in front of him on the bed during his spanking. I’m sure he was looking at them as the belt was tearing up his backside. How’s that for a visual association?

After the 24 lashes, I started to put my belt back on and told him to go hang the hangers in the designated spot in our closet. He did so quickly. When he came out of the closet, I informed him that when I do another hanger check, the swat or lash count would now be 4 per hanger.

A couple weeks later, I found only 3. And yes, he got 12. Unfortunately for him, I felt like using my cane and did so severely. “Six of the Best” from each side. He had the welts to show for it and lingering red marks from the cane to remind him for weeks to come.

spanking cane

And just like that, he was broken of his bad habit of leaving hangers hidden all throughout his side of the closet. And even better, I wasn’t even annoyed or mad when I found the initial 12. I knew he would slip up, but instead of feelings of annoyance and frustration, I felt a sense of power and forthcoming justice. I was going to address this transgression in a new and effective way while teaching him a new and improved habit.

Every once in a great while, I might find a hanger or two out of place, but I no longer have feelings of anger and/or annoyance over it. All I have to do is mention it, and he gets an instant look of regret and worry as he waits to see if I’m going to spank him for it or not. I often let him off the hook if it has been a while since his last slip-up. After I bring it to his attention, he is back to being very careful about where his empty hangers go. That reassures me that the good habit I have instilled is still intact. And if I feel that he is becoming too lax or if I feel that he may be questioning whether or not there will be consequences, I know I can implement the punishment at any time.

Having a real spanking option in our relationship has removed just about all tension points between us. In fact, it has actually prevented many trivial issues from becoming tension points at all. Which is important because, like many “trivial” things that upset us, the feelings associated with them can easily accumulate and grow into something damaging to the relationship.

He is normally a very considerate man. But even the most considerate, well-meaning men can benefit from proper “training.” Real domestic discipline provides both incentive and motivation to facilitate that training. 😉.

Rest assured, ladies, in our house, the toilet seat is always down, his clothes are always in the hamper, and the hidden hanger hunts are now a thing of the past.

Happy Spanking!

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Red Often

This is really a very well explained reason for using domestic discipline. Plus, the level of discipline has to encourage the changing of a habit that causes stress in a relationship. Certain stresses are trivial in their own right, but easily removed, if it aggravates the spanker on a frequent basis.
Thanks for sharing
bottoms up


That’s how my wife started out. She was very strict and spanked me for every little thing I did wrong. She felt taking care of the little things will help deter the bigger things and she was right. I have really come a long way in changing my bad habits.


I wish the ladies would get together and write some thoughts how a man asks his wife/gf to try a F/M spanking relationship. Maybe in a format that could be directed to women. I think it could save a lot of marriages


I am looking forward to your post. My partner spanks me for fun. I have suggested disciplinary spanking, but she is doubtful whether something that we both find entertaining and erotic could be effective as discipline.


Wow, I understand 100% and it worked for me. At first, I was hesitant about being spanked by my girlfriend, I always thought of severe spanking when I masturbated and I just loved when my gf talked of severe spanking but I seem to always find a reason to not being spanked or just after a few stroke I cannot take anymore and told her to stop. But one day, after I spent many dollars on a poker website and my gaming habit went up really fast we took a walk and told me that she was not happy with that. I promised her to stop it but it worked for a day or two and I reloaded my account. When she found out, she told me that if I continued like that, she will have no choice of leaving me but first that she had to try something and said “it will be a spanking tonight, but a real one” if you don’t accept it, I will leave tomorrow. I became very nervous and this day she wore her thick brown leather belt. After dinner, she told me to kneel in front of her and I remember every detail, she smoked a cigarette and explain me that we could not go on like it, that we need this cash to buy home, to found family etc. After her cigarette she told me to go lying on the bed and said it to me if you love me you’ll take this spanking until the end with no quitting. Then she removed a leather belt and started with full force from the beginning and I must have receive between 100 and 150 lashes. I think the first 30 were the worst after that I was kind of numb but it hurted like nothing I have experienced before. After the spanking, i cried in her arm and I said that I was so sorry. My bottom was purple for a week but I promise to never play poker online again and it worked. Since this day, I never spent a dollar on a gaming website and I am so thankful to my girlfriend. Since she didn’t have to spanked me too often (maybe 1-2 times a year) but it’s always to correct a wrong behaviour. My worst spanking was probably for stopping abusing alcohol (about 3 years ago).


Thanks for your reply, yeah belt spanking can really bruises for a week but need to be long enough and with a large number of strokes. When I receive about 30 lashes (normal spanking) it’s just red and fade away fast. However, when I receive a spanking with 100 strokes and more the bruising seems to be more important. Like I said the most severe spanking occured 3 years ago, I was drinking more and more and one night I’ve been arrogant with my gf and after she went to sleep I put on music really loud. She told me to stop the music and go to bed but I ignored her (what a bad idea). I heard the clinging of the bed and went out of the room and put her belt on the table and just told me “tomorrow you’ll regret it”. I immediately stopped the music and went to bed. The next morning I was kind of hangover and when I woke up and saw the belt on the table I had a knot in my stomach. My girlfriend was in the living room arms crossed and told me to eat a quick breakfast and go kneeling in front of her. I really took my time for this breakfast but I wanted to assume what I’ve done and executed what she told me. Her routine before a spanking is always the same, I go kneeling in front of her and she smokes a cigarette, she said that she calmed her down a little bit. While she smoked her cigarette she lectured me on how alcohol is about to destruct our relationship and that she needed to do some action to correct this including a long belt spanking. After her cigarette, she told me to go “think about that” by kneeling on the floor and she told me to masturbate until ejaculation. I had the bad idea to talked to her about the effect of spanking post ejaculation and it was the first time she used it. I tried to object to her request but with the look she gave me I knew that I had no choice to execute. So I masturbate until ejaculation. After that, I had really but really no desire to be spanked but I lied on the bed and I heard her walking, took the belt and began the most severe spanking of my life. It took about an half an hour, over 200 strokes and always on the right cheek, she didn’t change position the whole spanking so the right cheek took the most of all of lashes. Some edge lashes (btw glad that she didn’t know to do it by purpose) seemed to cut the skin but the bruising were really deep, more dark blue than purple. I had difficulty to walk this day and I had bruising for more than a week with all the colors the day after (green, yellow etc.) but I remember this spanking and really cut down alcohol. Now when we’re out with friends she always wore her belt and when I seem to be too drunk she show me her belt with her smile and immediately stop drinking. With these type of punishment, I’ve been able to be a better man and punishments are less frequent.


She spoke with one of my buddy’s wife on the phone and realized I had drinks with him before coming home! When I arrived, she kissed me quite passionately & casually asked, “Honey, did you come straight home?” I stupidly said, “Yes honey.” Well out came the cane! In our kitchen with pants & under wear down, she furiously gave me 12 of the best for the drinking & 36 more for the big NO LYING rule! Had I not lied, she said she may have given me a reprieve for the drinking. The welts were painful for many days & I’ll never lie to her again! I hate the cane & she knows it!


Did you ever catch Joey in a Lie? 🙄


You mentioned ‘visual association’ in your post above. I can relate to that. One of my household chores is dishes.. Although we have a dishwasher, I am to scrap dishes, load and unload the washer daily. I try to run it at night and unload in the morning. If forgotten, it falls under the category of ‘Neglecting Household Chores’ and I get spanked accordingly. After several forgetful occurrences, she brought me to the kitchen. “Put your hands on the counter over the dishwasher and bend over” she commanded. My nose was only inches from the dishwasher when she paddled me at length. Way over the number specified in a level 3 punishment for this offense. Visual association for sure.

scott james

I was always given weekly “discipline” that involved corporal punishment but it was used as a review of my behavior and her giving me instructions on how she wanted me to improve and how I could be a better servant, maid, male, etc. Those weekly “sessions” included hard spanking, paddling, whipping, etc., but it always put me in a very submissive state of mind and made me want to be better for her. Punishment, however, was and is to be feared and is reserved for misbehavior or failure to meet her expectations that she felt required immediate corporal punishment to insure I recognized my mistake and was quickly put back in my place as hers and helped to remember that my obedience and service excellence was a demand I had no choice but to offer her. I was on fire after a punishment and often it would move from corporal punishment to CBT and/or put in a corner for sometimes hours while I contemplated my behavior.

I really appreciate how your website depicts a strong, dominant woman who helps her submissive male surrender to her control and does so in a way that insures her wishes and decisions are primary.


FYI: When I click the “Follow Us” link it does not open a form to sign-up for updates by email. Just FYI.


My wife is very protective of her baby sister who always teases me about my being spanked. She called the house phone to talk to my wife & I answered. She said, “Hi “D”, Is your bottom still throbbing from yesterday’s bath brush spanking giggle giggle!” I responded loudly with, “F**k You, Bitch!” My wife grabbed the phone from me and said loudly, “Hmmmph go to our room and assume the position, I’ll be up there in 10 minutes! I could hear her baby sister chuckling loudly on the phone! Ten minutes later I was caned 40 times. 10 for foul language, 10 for calling her sister a bitch, 10 for being rude to her sister & 10 so I ‘ll remember not to do it again! Afterwards I sniveling in the corner and J informed me that Her sis is coming to dinner tomorrow night & J said to me: You’d better be Polite to her, or ELSE!

Amanda L Daveaux

I wish there were more women like you,
And for it to be more socially acceptable for all women to correct a man’s behavior, anywhere it occurs.
at present time, most people call this a fetish and it is kept well hidden in the SM community.
This should be out in the open. What if it were perfectly normal to see a man being punished by a woman in public? There would be no need for social constructs like the ‘Me Too’ movement because acts of disrespect from any man could be dealt with immediately.
I have a few leather belts. Some are fashionable, and one, is a standard rawhide strap that I wear with jeans. My husband adores the look, and I get some curious looks from others as well. He says that he likes that it is a constant reminder to him that he had better be respectful.
He treats me like a queen. And yes, I know that sometimes he acts up just to get some attention. Men need a woman’s attention, and they need some motivation at times. He has even told me that he needs it once in a while. I do not disappoint him. I make sure that he gets all the motivation he needs.
Ladies…don’t knock this unless you have at least tried it. Amanda L

Dave Pennington

You’re curing his bad habits, well done, what about your bad habits?


I love your resolve and commitment to help him change it is not you trying to be totally in control but saying “Please don’t do this it makes my life harder!”
Upping the anney showed him you were serious and his submission showed his acceptance!


I know DD would work if my wife had what it takes. When I was a teenager and got a spanking from my dad, I didn’t need another one for a long time. His punishments were not as bad as you give, but whenever I was tempted to misbehave, I usually chose not to risk the well-being of my behind. Sometimes I had bad judgement and got away by not getting caught, or I was lucky and the transgression earned a non-spanking punishment, but the bottom line was that I mostly stayed out of trouble. There came a time in my teens where I was no longer threatened with corporal punishment. My behavior and attitude took a dramatic change for the worse. That’s the proof to me that real consequences make a real difference when the consequences are a blistered bottom. It’s so basic and simple. Once a wife knows how that works, she is in the driver’s seat when it comes to managing her husband’s behavior.

Kenneth Morra

Being disciplined by my wife is a regular occurrence when I am disobedient. She pulls my pants and underwear down, puts me over her knee, and gives me a long bare bottom spanking. I have to count each spank and thank her for my spanking when she is done with me. She doesn’t care if we are alone or not.


I think a lot of good points to a flr relationship if it means a marriage does not have constant bickering over who is in charge or failing to pick up the dirty washing is not your wife duty to pick up after you


Great explanation! I agree with many of those who’ve commented as well. I spanked my husband soundly and decided I would utilize it as needed. Something I had to learn was to be consistent and also not spank too lightly, because if I did, my husband seemed to not learn well and repeat behaviors he’d been spanked for.

When I became frustrated enough with him for something I’d really spank him soundly sometimes adding a dose of my strap (belt). He’d be very sore and have to sit gingerly but wouldn’t repeat the issue for some time. Eventually if he repeated the offense I’d warn him repeatedly until I’d had enough and he’d get a beating. So it was a cycle that could be frustrating until the light bulb went on. I had to put my big girl panties on and do what was needed anytime and ‘EVERYTIME!’

One issue was putting the keys in the same spot so we both always knew where they were. Sounds trivial but when you have to continually search or if you’re in a hurry and have to search the house for a key it’s totally frustrating and frankly it’s unnecessary. He’d been spanked in the past for this so the next time he did it I stayed calm and reached for the paddle. Pants down and over my knee my husband went. I stayed silent as I paddled the daylights out of his bare behind. I told him that’s what he’d get every time the keys were not replaced on the hook as soon as he came in the house.

Unless his hands were full, then immediately after emptying his hands. Two weeks later he came in with his hands full, dropped the keys on the counter just below the key hooks. I could have hung them up but I’ve been following behind him and giving in for too long! He went out to get the rest of the bags of groceries. I felt he should have hung the keys back up then but I did give him a little mercy at that point but watched him. After bringing the bags in he went to watch tv. He didn’t replace the keys and he should have been helping to put groceries away.
He was confused and upset when I turned the TV off and told him to strip naked, he saw how serious I was and did as told while asking what was going on. I asked him why wasn’t he helping with the groceries? He “Forgot.” I asked him where were the car keys? He went to the hook and said “Sorry I was getting the rest of the groceries.” I told him ‘No problem I’m just blistering your behind.”

Over my lap he went for a good spanking. Then he retrieved the hairbrush and received a paddling. His pleas and promises fell on deaf ears as he followed me upstairs to the guest room where he went to face and receive a butt whipping with my belt. Two weeks later we were going shopping again. After coming out of the shower I had him go over the bed for a good butt whoopin with my belt. It was a reminder to help put away the groceries. He helped with the groceries and has been hanging the keys up consistently ever since. SO as I learned consistency disciplining my husband he’s learned consistency in good habits.


What a wonderful writing @Jenn, oh PLEASE where can we read more???
It just seemed so relatable, both engaging and illuminating how your lifestyle has developed.
You truly give much hope to many that there really are those of you out there who actually exist after all.

Don M

When my wife and I got engaged she found out I had not been paying my bills on time. Early in our relationship I made it known I had an interest in blending a wife led domestic discipline component with a contemporary marriage relationship.
Well one day I resorted to whining about a task she wanted me to do. That combined with my lack of motivation to pay bills on time set her into action. After calling me a little bitch she set down some rules and took action. She made me wear panties and spanked my ass raw. After about three weeks of this humiliation I got my act back together and had laser focus on paying my bills. But over time she slacked off. I think she may restart my discipline sessions!


It works for us. A red bottom has taught me a lot.


I’ve learned a lot the hard way.


For me it is much more than just discipline to change one simple behavior. Spankings have shown me what i have been doing wrong like procrastinating for ages and ages. Being caned in front of her close and trusted friend taught me to accept this part of my nature. Yes I hurt a lot after a long caning, but it beats the old me who turned in articles late, didn’t get jobs because they weren’t sure if i would get them done on time.
Better to be sore, and humiliated than broke. Thanks girlfriend.


In preparation for our daughter’s wedding Reception in our huge home, L told me, “You will follow my orders to the letter, or else you’ll get this!” As she then lowered my pants & underwear & turned me over her leg & locked me in with her right leg & with our bath brush gave me 50 of the best! So every other day for the tiniest of misdeeds my bottom was quickly returned to its TENDERIZED STATE. Just before she administered one of many more spankings on my sore bottom, my wife kissed me passionately and said, “Sorry dear, these spankings seem to constantly cure your grouchyness & put you in a receptive mood.”

Jack C

My wife and I have a great marriage and are much in love after 40+ yrs. Every so often for really bad conduct with my male friends I willingly take a bare ass paddling just so she can vent her anger and frustration, and I get what I have coming for doing what offends her. It is rare, but it happens. It’s bare over her knee and it hurts my bare butt plenty—but I know I have it coming. Since it is only the two of us, there is no shame or embarrassment. Things get back to being good between us very quickly–only a damn sore bare butt to remind me to behave better!

Roy Wells

Hello Mistress Wicked Q, I just love your article about Breaking His Bad habits. The best part being that neither partner keeps bad feelings about the other. It’s these hidden feelings that really destroy us. When she takes off her belt, or gets out the thick wooden paddle I know darn well that I’ve done wrong and the coming spanking will clear the air. True, it’s painful, and I am crying and sniffling when she ends the punishment, but when she hugs and kisses me I know that all is well again. Most times my spanking session ends with her saying, “I’m sorry I had to do that.”

Roy Wells

Dear Mistress WQ, You are so right. When I am held very tightly against her chest, I just feel wonderful even though my rear is burning. All our bad feelings are gone.


My Wife has many hand signals that she uses to command me, and I obey them. Since we got married in 2002 she has been very demanding about me always wearing a chastity device, so for more than a decade it’s been normal for me.
In 2020 she started her parole program. She has her honey do jobs written in a logbook and in order to get unlocked and have a release I have to complete one to her satisfaction. I’m used to being locked for up to four months, but after a month I’m driven to perform.
I consider her my , “Warden”!

Roy Wells

I have never had to endure that chastity business but if I was ordered to do so by my partner I certainly would have followed their directions. My failure to do so would be immediately corrected by at least 20 strokes of the leather strap on my bare rear end and I would be extremely sorry for my negative response. In my case I am given maintenance spankings to prevent such events.


Wish my wife was more strict like you. That way it would be more two sided, and this would make it that way. Women do have the right to let her man know of things she’s not happy with. I would love for you to talk to her and for you to get her to set rules like this. My wife has said she’s going to whoop me, but it’s just talk, and I always say now that she has never done it, “Woman you don’t have the guts to do it!” then LOL.


This strikes a chord or two. I got my first spanking over a repeat offense, showing too much interest in other women’s appearance, or “head turning”. Funnily enough that spanking was administered with a sandal very similar to one you highlighted in a recent post. That’s been our go-to implement since day 1. My pants had to come down a few times before the head turning got under control, it was a tough habit to break, but in the meantime the spanking regime was proving so beneficial that it spread across other bad habits, all of which you will relate to, dirty dishes in the sink, wet towels on the floor, doors unlocked, lights left on……and so on. The take away from all that is we have both been much happier knowing where we stand, I know what’s expected and what the consequences are. When it works bad habits get cured and we are both happier, when it doesn’t at least we clear the air so there is no lingering resentment as you describe, no bitching, no eye rolling, just a constructive step to a permanent cure. We also found that set penalties keep things consistent. For minor things (dishes in sink, untidy closet) I get the strap on my hands, made from a English bridle hide belt, 6, 8, 10 or 12 depending, increasing to a spanking for repeat or more significant transgressions, sandal the paddle or brush.

DD, consistent consensual discipline around the sort bad behaviour at home that drives most couples mad has worked wonderfully well for us and it’s great to read your accounts of a very similar approach. It’s nice to know we aren’t the only ones and hopefully others will read it and see the sense in keeping a sandal and belt handy. A thoroughly good spanking never did any husband any harm, and plenty of marriages a power of good!! Keep it up! R


Makes a lot of sense to me. Great idea. Even as the husband who would be the recipient, I totally get it and see why this would be a very good thing for a marriage. Kind of changes my whole mindset. I don’t know if I’m brave enough to suggest it to my wife as she might say I’m being weird but I think it would go a long way to reduce her frustration with me.


Yes I think I’ve mentioned this but I was taken in hand at around 12 by my brother’s gf who disciplined me and often teaching me to be obedient. So I too learned not to leave toilet seat up or leave clothes laying around thanks to her firm hand and hairbrush on my bare bottom almost weekly, until I was in my early 20s. Did me a world of good in helping me become a better man and learn my place in service. I’m much older now, but truth be told, I need another woman like her in my life as I’ve been falling back into some of my naughty ways. Finding someone is the hard thing.

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