Pre-Spanking Thoughts

My Queen has told me that she’s had enough of my attitude and “sass” and that I can expect a woodshed whuppin’ soon. If I was a betting man, I’d say it is going to happen within days. Said she was going to use her belt. Which always means this one.

Italian Leather Belt

Interesting thoughts start to flood my brain when this happens and so I thought I’d capture some of those thoughts in this post. From the moment she says, “You just earned a trip to the woodshed.” to right before the very first swat or lash.

On occasion, there are some impromptu spankings. See Coffee Table Whuppin’s, for example. But most of the time she’ll set a designated time for a spanking. Be it an attitude adjustment spanking or the ultimate…woodshed whuppin’. When she tells me that one is coming, she’ll often tell me when it is coming. Other times she’ll leave me wondering. In that case, it can happen later that night, or a couple of days can pass before it does down. There are pros and cons to both situation from my perspective.

electric cord spankingImpromptu Spankings

So first off, for the quick “right in the moment” spanking, there is not much thought, except, “Oh shit!” And just like that, the spanking has commenced. The “Pro” of this, is that #1 – These spankings aren’t USUALLY of the woodshed whuppin category. And #2 – There is no long sense of dread to contend with like there is when she sentences me to a woodshed whuppin. The “Cons” of the impromptu spanking are #1 – There is virtually no time to mentally prepare for the spanking. And #2 – She is usually a little more riled up when giving it. Not out of control, but definitely more riled up, which is never a good thing when you’re on the receiving end of a real spanking.

Woodshed Whuppin’s

Now being told or “sentenced” to a trip to the woodshed brings with it additional thoughts. There is still the “Oh shit!” moment as mentioned above. But now there is TIME to contend with. With a woodshed whuppin’, there are mostly CONS. The ONLY “PRO” that I can think of, is that I can at least try to mentally prepare myself for the forthcoming spanking. It helps a little, but honestly…it is of little consolation once the spanking begins. The “Cons” are plentiful and so I thought I’d walk through them as they generally happen, up to the moment of the spanking.

Cons: Instant Fear, Regret, Sense of Dread & Bravado?

Black flower thong sandalsI’m not sure why, but I always ask what I’m going to get it with. Maybe it’s to help with the mental preparation or maybe it’s simply just curiosity. Most of the time she’ll tell me, but on occasion she’ll leave me guessing. When she does tell me, then she’ll usually wear the corresponding sandals for that implement for the next couple of days, or at the bare minimum, the day of. Each time I see or hear her sandals “clicking” against her feet; it reminds me that my backside is going to get wrecked by (whatever implement is associated with those sandals). When her belt is going to be used, you can bet that she’ll be wearing it as much as possible on the days preceding the spanking. She likes to make me squirm a little too. For example, on days preceding the spanking when she getting undressed for the night, she’ll take off her belt to hang it on her belt rack. But she’ll often give me “the look”, as she unbuckles and takes it off, in the same manner she does right before spanking me with it. It always either gives me the chills or that feeling of dread that sits in the pit of your stomach.

And defying all common sense, I sometimes get myself in even more trouble by continuing to act up. I get a sense of bravado thinking, “Well, I’m going to get it anyway, so I might as well go out in a Blaze of Glory (queue Bon Jovi’s song)”. You would think that being a somewhat intelligent man who normally has good foresight, understands long term scenarios and consequences, that I would tone it down some and keep my arrogance or attitude at a minimum. But…no…my brain doesn’t serve me well in this regard. It is not until just moments right before the whuppin’ is going to happen, that arrogance starts giving me hints that its going to bail on me shortly.

The long walk to the hall. After having received REAL domestic discipline spankings in the past…the walk down the hall towards our room (the woodshed), seems to get longer and bring more fear with it as your brain now decides to be “helpful” and provide recall of previous trips to said woodshed.

When it is time for the spanking, she usually tells me to come with or follow her. We start the walk down the hall and as I see and hear her sandals woman in chair holding spanking caneagain, and realize what those sandals mean, my nervousness increases exponentially. When we get to the room, a few different scenarios usually play out. Sometimes, she’ll tell me right away to “assume the position” or “bend over”. Other times, she’ll go sit in our big lounge chair, cross her legs and tell me to come kneel before her as she reviews my transgressions. Oftentimes she’ll be holding the spanking implement that she is going to using for the spanking, for my viewing pleasure.

This scenario is USUALLY worse, because as she goes through my list of transgressions, she in essence reminds herself of EVERYTHING I’ve done that deserves a spanking. I can only assume that makes the spanking longer. When she is going over the “list” I hear her but my thoughts are in the forefront as I look at the implement, knowing how bad it hurts. Feelings and thoughts of regret and dread course through my body.

After she has said her piece, she’ll give one of the aforementioned commands and I’ll get up, take down my pants and underwear and bend over the end of the bed.  My nervousness is at its highest level as I know I’m just moments away from the pain that drives out these poor attitudes and arrogance. There is nothing fun about a real spanking. As I’m bent over, I will look over my left shoulder (she always starts from the left side) and see her there in position with the implement that is about to tear up my backside and I give out a quick breath, look forward and think, “Ok, just hang on  and stay in position.” Knowing that if I don’t stay in position, there are likely penalty swats added AFTER the spanking. We have rules around HE-YA! (see spanking rules) I oftentimes will take a look at the clock, knowing that time “is on my side”. Even though it seems like an eternity once the spanking starts; because she spanks for real and in succession, a real spanking (the actual spanking part), will only last about 4-5 minutes or so. You might be thinking that 4-5 minutes is not that bad of a spanking, but for a real spanking I assure you it is. Take a look at the animated spanking GIF below, even though it loops, you can see that Jess gives a swat about every second to second and a half.

animated belt spanking

While she NEVER gives warm up swats, I sometimes feel the implement placed against my butt as she lines it up and gets her distance calculated. When I feel that, I think, “Man this is going to hurt so bad.” And that is usually the last thought I have when the first searing lash or swat lands…

f/m paddle spanking progression

Above still shots from the paddling segment of the Joey Gets Wrecked spanking video.

So there you have it. The thoughts that run through my head, up until that dreaded moment the spanking actually begins. Then my mind begins the internal battle to not move, as I do my best to maintain position, and not earn additional swats.

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I do enjoy these articles, and I love how the two of you have found ‘ your’ middle ground…although it does seem a bit lop-sided to the WQ (yes, I know that’s the dynamic that the two of you have evolved into) it’s really nice to see how it works for BOTH of you in a REAL relationship. Like Joey, I will find myself walking down the hallway tonight for my weekly discipline session. She doesn’t ask me to follow her, she simply says “It’s time. Up (stairs) you go. Get ready for me, I’ll be up soon.” Due to a slight back injury, I have not had a session in three weeks. She has already warned me she will be making up for lost time tonight. Gulp…

The Wicked Queen

Hi Mark,

Haha, yes…I am the Queen. And as we all know, the Queen turns the King’s neck. 😉 Thank you for the kind words and good luck with your session “with interest”.


Thanks for the good wishes. Turns out they weren’t needed. She was at my place (we are usually at hers) and she forgot her instrument of torture, a rubber/acrylic paddle. She asked what we should use, and I offered up a belt or suggested she use her hands. She declined both and pushed out to another week, for she was afraid to hurt me with the belt, and she didn’t want to hurt her hand with a bare spanking (And yes, I gave her an eye roll at that) As I indicated earlier, we are relatively new to this aspect of FLR, so sometimes it’s baby steps. I do appreciate her concern, and honestly it’s her empathy and concern that have allowed us to get to this place of trust, at least with the discipline aspect. Anyways…thanks for listening, and look forward to the next installment from you two as we continue down our path of learning what works for us.

The Wicked Queen

Hi Mark, you guys will get there but I’m glad to see you recognize that she may need baby steps. That’s not a bad thing. One of the biggest elements that I believe needs to be present for this kind of lifestyle, is TRUST. Additionally, rushing her, will likely push her away from doing this sort of thing. It took me a bit of time to get to a place where I was able to comfortably give “Wicked Queen” type spankings. But after seeing how it positively benefited HIM, and his verbal statements confirming the same, I was able to ratchet up throttle a little bit and we continued to evolve. Sounds like you guys are on the right track. 🙂


Thank you for your REAL view on a true domestic discipline relationship. It is great knowing others are out there that enjoy the benefits of this lifestyle.

My wife also gives both quick correction and “woodshed” spankings. Both are done with no warm up and are delivered with strong firm correction. Generally her favorite implement is “The Body Shop Cactus Bath Brush” which is a force to be reckoned with. She likes it because in her words… “Its actually effective”.

In our relationship …. quick correction is often bent over in the bedroom (or closet if the kids are home) for 20-30 very hard swats of the brush. These type of corrections are often for more “minor” issues such as grumpy attitude or not speaking nicely.

However…..”Woodshed” trips are a completely different thing. I made the mistake of building a sort of spanking bench that is kept in an unused part of the garage. While it is 99% of the time covered in blankets and items to keep it hidden from young and prying eyes…. once in awhile when I really grew up it is determined that a more severe correction is needed. This does not happen often only a couple times a year. During those sessions I am strapped down and all her implements from straps, paddle, cane and finally the bath brush are used. This trip will often last up to an hour and I am truly sore and bruised for at least a week ……which is a GREAT reminder to behave.

This is truly the greatest way to live for a happy marriage. Our home is happy and peaceful!!

I would not choose to live any other way and love my strict dominant wife!!

Thank you so much for sharing your life!!

The Wicked Queen

Hey there Redhead! Thanks for your kind words, comments and insight into YOUR spanking lifestyle. Sounds like your wife is my kind of disciplinarian! We have a wooden bath brush and Joey has commented that it STINGS! But I just looked up the one you mentioned and it looks heavier than the one we have. I will be placing my order soon. Or better yet, I’m going to tell Joey to do it so he can squirm when he sees it. 😉 Thanks for the specifics on that!

I would love to have a spanking bench as well but, like you said, putting it somewhere discreetly can be a challenge. Our bed is pretty tall and so when I have him bend over the end of it, it emulates a nice spanking bench as well.

We SO agree that this can be a great foundation for a happy and loving marriage. Cheers to you both and we look forward to hearing from you again.


I too receive weekly ” maintenance” spankings from my lovely wife. Across her lap, bare bottomed starting with a quick caress of her hand, then hand spanks and proceeding to use of a small dinner plate size paddle she had asked me to make. My bad for making it soooo heavy because she can really lay into my ass with it. After about 10 to 15 minutes I can’t wait for it to end but I try not to give in and admit it hurts too much to continue but I’m pretty sure she knows by the amount of leg kicking and squirming I do. So far these paddlings or spanking can go anywhere from 10 to 15 minutes up to a half hour or so. Love that woman either way.

Gary McKee

Thank you for sharing your experiences, Dennis. I am sure you know how blessed you are to have a wonderful wife that does not hesitate to correct you and keep you on the straight and narrow in the classic fashion. I am in such a marriage myself. I count my blessings as often as I count the swats!

I wish you both continued success and joy! ❤️❤️



Thanks for the response…. I think you and my wife would get along great! True disciplinarians yet loving & kind all at the same time.

Sorry Joey …. That bath brush is something to be feared!!!



The only good news I can give you is that the brush does help one be obedient. I actually get less trips to the woodshed now that she has fallen in love with that brush.

Knowing that it is within easy reach in the closet is a great reminder that she can grab it and within a very short time have me fully regretting my actions. Since it sounds like your wife spanks a lot like mine …(hard and fast with no warm up)… I never under estimate that brushes ability to provide a long lasting reminder of my behavior. Of course when used in conjunction with a trip to the woodshed… well all I can say is good luck!!

Isn’t it great to have such an amazing wife who cares enough to keep us on track and make our marriages so happy & harmonious!!!


This is my favorite comment thread so far on the blog. I love the interaction and community of like minded people. It’s refreshing to see others in a real (read: non-fantasy, porn) relationship living some semblance of a loving, caring female-led relationship. My girlfriend and I are early in our journey and figuring out what works for us. While she is far from the ‘whuppin’ stage some of you are at, this blog and the comments gives her more confidence for how she wants to approach discipline (and maintenance, in our case) as well as other things that we are experimenting with in the female led universe universe as we find our way to what our FLR will ultimately look like as we settle into it. Thanks to all for sharing a glimpse into their relationship and what works for them and giving newbies a sense of the possibilities.

Gary McKee

When I work at the office and attend morning sales meetings, my Wife will text me on occasion, letting me know that I have failed her in some way e.g. did not complete my chores to her satisfaction. Perhaps I was too flirty at a social gathering the previous evening. (I really have to watch myself on that one!) In any case, after citing the damning particulars, M’Lady radically alters the course of my day as only she can. “When you get home, don’t make any plans, mister. I’ll be taking your pants down.” Inevitably, as I walk through the front door into our living room, a straight-backed chair and sturdy wooden hairbrush are waiting for me, along with a VERY determined woman.


As I’ve said previously the psychological side of the ‘brain control’which pre-ceeds a punishment is to me, a vital part in adding to the sense of relief and yes, mental calm I experience once it is over, there will certainly be considerable pain to contend with but I certainly experience an inner warmth.

Sunday is our designated day should I need to be ‘taught a lesson’ she can tell me at any time to start preparing myself mentally by simply saying ” It’s time again” not knowing exactly when ‘ that time’ is, simply adds to my predicament and she gets great pleasure and amusement as my attitude changes leading up to my deserved punishment.

Like all the other posts on here , this dynamic works for us although having just read it back I can understand how others might see it as some sort of mental cruelty.

P.s Up till now I am NOT due anything tomorrow, but when she reads this who knows ?

The Wicked Queen

Hi again Tina and thank you for the comment. No need to apologize for its length at all. We love to get insight from fellow spankers/spankees with this kind of detail. You know we have a lot of implements as well. Collected over many, many years but I have yet to own an English Tawse. I may have to remedy that. I just need to find a legitimate one here in the US. And sure, discreet pictures are allowed. I believe you have my direct email address? Always good to hear from you! And sorry for the delay in response. The blog is growing quite well and the blog comment system we have is not the best at notifications of new comments, once you’ve been approved to post. I need to ask Joey to fix that or find a new blog commenting plugin.


Great blog! I enjoy hearing about a real couple and what they have figured out that works for them. I hope you keep posting!

The Wicked Queen

Thanks Ruby! Appreciate the kind words and yes, there are several blogs we haven’t finish that should be coming up soon. Hope to hear from you again! 🙂


I will keep an eye out for them! Always fun to hear how other couples are in their relationships, as it sparks new ideas in me/us.

Last edited 3 years ago by Ruby
Dan Show

You guys are awesome my wife had me read your posts the other evening prior to spanking me . She is working on her spanking rules gulp.

Dan Show

Maybe a podcast someday hmmmm


I will be happy to buy the video


Love the site

Any update on the video?


i am not a masochist, but i feel strongly submissive towards (dominant) Women, and have a huge foot fetish. Interestingly, despite not being a masochist i thoroughly love the “idea” of corporal punishment because to me it is a very potent display of the power imbalance between the sub and the Owner/Domme/Wife/Disciplinarian/etc. This blog showcases this beautifully! But what i love about the power dynamics here is that this imbalance between the Queen and the husband has permeated every single minute of Y/your daily life. To the casual reader, it may look like this is a (please forgive me for saying so) very plain relationship where the whole power exchange happens once or twice a month, during the 5-10 minute period where the corrective punishment takes place. But it’s more than that to me. It is more of a long cycle where the power (im)balance is usually correct so no extra correction is needed. When the Queen is properly obeyed, She will see no necessity for corrective action. The absence of this necessity is proof that the power exchange is already happening. Then, towards the end of the cycle, the husband starts getting out of the line, and this is when the Queen’s corrective action is needed to bring back the imbalance (i hope Y/you will forgive me for insisting to call it imbalance). Amazingly, this correction takes place in such a way that it is at once fierce and calm. And again, to the casual reader it may sound like this process of restoring the imbalance only consists of the actual punishment: however, it begins way before that; perhaps when the Queen realises that his behaviour is starting to slip, or when She announces the pending punishment and initialise the agonising anticipation for Her husband.

i am going dare to liken this process to a painting with a very simple object at its focus, say a house. To many observers, the painting may feel simple because it is just about a house. But there is more to the painting than the house: the background, the light, the shade, the balance between the elements, the feelings it evokes… Those details elevate the painting from simple to beautiful. i would (respectfully) say that the actual punishment here is the “house”, and the little details elevate it to a “masterpiece”. To quote: “Each time I see or hear her sandals “clicking” against her feet; it reminds me that my backside is going to get wrecked by (whatever implement is associated with those sandals).” And then again, “We start the walk down the hall and as I see and hear her sandals again, and realize what those sandals mean, my nervousness increases exponentially.” Wow… The process of correction began long before the dreaded punishment. The husband is free to leave all this behind, yet he knows that he will not. He will walk down the hall, watching those sandals, ready to embrace the pain. The punishment itself is just the impressive finale of this very long process. And to quote from another post (by Wicked Queen), perhaps the symbolically most potent moment will arrive after the punishment: “If you’re lucky, I’ll let you show your subservience by kissing my feet. While sitting in my throne and still holding the implement, I’ll lift up my foot without saying a word. You are to quickly but gently remove my sandal and kiss the sole of that foot. When I say, “Ok.” Then you are to put my sandal back on, kiss the top of my foot and then we’ll do the same for my other foot.” Wow… Just wow! i cannot think of a stronger show of “subservience” than kissing the feet of the Very Person who has reduced the owned to tears, correcting him through pain and fear. The circle is complete. A new circle has just begun.

The Wicked Queen

Wow…very insightful and so eloquently stated. Thank you for this wonderful comment. 🙂

Roy Wells

I have not had a safe-word or time-limits placed on my maintenance spankings which Gloria applies to me using her leather strap on my bare rear end for 20 strokes. We have been using this schedule for a while now and it works well, so why worry. BUT, I’m thinking that if she ever orders that Wicked Switch, we might have to start imposing limits on my spankings. I know that I’m once again starting to be a wise-ass and my mouth is getting me into trouble and my spankings are feeling more intense then they used to be. So I’m still worried about that damn Switch and I hope it’s never back in stock. And a note to Mistress Wicked Queen: I do not intend or mean any offense to you and your wonderful site and I wish you all the best in marketing any products you may offer.

Roy Wells

Hello Ms. Wicked Queen, this is Gloria, I am Roy’s domestic partner, and I am writing this because he can’t come to the computer. He is in the corner crying and snuffling and holding his very red bare bottom after the spanking i have given to him using my leather strap. I am so sorry for him insulting you. I am sorry for his terrible behavior and feel it is my fault for previously not disciplining him sufficiently, and I assure you that changes right now. I am so very sorry and I wish I had a microphone so you could hear him crying there in the corner after the strapping he was given. He’s like a kid after a well deserved bare bottomed spanking.


What a humiliating experience to be forced to anticipate the day or the time, when you will be punished. This makes absolutely sense as you will think about your misbehavior over and over. This increases your nervousness. Right before being spanked, it makes sense to do some corner time, maybe with your trousers down already. My question is: Do you use handcuffs or other implements in order to restrain joe? To make his Situation even more helpless?

The Wicked Queen

It’s not a “humiliating experience” for him, in the true sense of the word. But it DOES cause him to think and reflect on what he’s done, and what’s coming. Increases his nervousness? Absolutely. Well, most of the time. He’ll still smart off about something, and then when he’s reminded he has a trip to the woodshed coming, it usually settles him down. Usually. As a side note, we don’t do corner time. Once his spanking is over, his punishment is over. But for those who like to do corner time, more power to you, if that’s what you like to do. I don’t use any restraints on Joey for a real spanking. He is expected to display the mental discipline it takes, to maintain position during his spanking, or he’ll earn extra swats/lashes AFTER his main spanking is over. Only took him a time or two to learn that lesson.

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