In our house, when I assign my husband a punishment spanking, there are rules that I have created to make sure his punishments are consistent and effective. Below are the current rules I gave him with some added detail.
- Sentencing – If I am wearing the implement to be used for the spanking (like my sandal or belt), I will take it off and then sit in the big chair in our room (which becomes my Throne anytime I sit in it). If I have decided on spanking you with a different implement, then I will send you to get it, along with their corresponding sandals if I’m not already wearing them. You will hand me the implement, kneel in front of me and put the sandals on my feet. I will then review your transgressions and pass sentencing. For example: “…I find you guilty as charged for disrespect towards the Queen, countless instances of misbehavior and having a non-subservient attitude. I hereby sentence you to a woodshed whuppin’ with [insert implement(s)], until I deem you have shed enough tears and learned your lesson.
- Assuming The Position – I will then tell you to either to “Bend over” or “Assume the position.” You will immediately get up, walk to the end of the bed, pull down your shorts & underwear and bend over the end of the bed, as I get up and position myself to the left side of you. Exception: If I am spanking you with a sandal, bath, shower or hair brush, then I’ll put you over my knee in the leg lock position.
- Pre-Punishment Statement – I will ask you if you have something to say to me before I carry out your spanking and it had better be something close to this:
I realize I have once again crossed my Queen with my unacceptable behavior and now must face the harsh consequences. But I am grateful for your love and discipline, as your painful corrections improve my attitude and behavior.
May the severe pain felt during this punishment also serve to remind me of what “being bad” feels like and mitigate future occurrences.
With that, I sorrowfully admit my guilt, and fearfully request that you spank me severely and without mercy as you feel I deserve.
After you finish your statement, I may have a few words of my own OR
I may just start meting out the punishment.
- No Warm Up – As always, there is no warm up for a punishment spanking. I am going to start spanking severely from the very beginning.
- Bare Butt & Swat/Lash Area – All spankings will be given on your bare butt, starting from the top of your butt to the upper backs of your legs. Exception: If I’m using a paddle, then the swats will only be on your butt.
- Minimal Moving – You are to stay bent over the bed, keeping both feet on the floor and both hands or forearms on the bed. Your knees may buckle slightly but you had better not lift your feet off the floor or arms off the bed. Failure to maintain position (as determined by ME), will earn you additional “penalty” swats or lashes at the end of the spanking for each instance.
- No Swearing – You may grunt, cry out, and say some variation of “Oww”, but you are not permitted to swear. Doing so, will add another 10 “penalty” swats or lashes at the end of the spanking for each cuss word.
- No Talking – You may only speak if I ask you a direct question. All other talking will incur penalty swats or lashes at the end of the spanking. The only exception to this rule, is during the “final count” as described below.
- Final Count – As you know, I like to end these spankings with a “final count”. After tanning your hide for what I feel is an appropriate amount of punishment, I will give you a number (usually 10, sometimes 20), and tell you to “Count ‘em”. The appropriate count from you is, “1, thank you.” “2, thank you.” and so on. I don’t care if you’re crying (which you likely will be), you had better find a way to blurt it out because if I feel you’re stalling or just talking too long, then you’re going to get another swat or lash that doesn’t count towards the final number.
- Post Spanking – At the end of the final count/spanking, you are to stay bent over as I review and administer any earned “Penalty swats/lashes”. You are to stay bent over until I tell you to “Come here.” at which point you are to approach me, then kneel before me and hold on around my waist while I stroke your hair.
- Post Spanking Creed – Then I’ll step back and go sit in my Throne holding the last implement I used on your backside and tell you to recite your creed:
Thank you my Queen, for holding me accountable for my actions,
as I am cultivated by your harsh, yet just punishments. I recognize your superiority and am privileged that you are my Queen.
I am very sorry for my transgressions and look forward to showing you
examples of my improved attitude and behavior.
- Show of Subservience – If you’re lucky, I’ll let you show your subservience by kissing my feet. While sitting in my throne and still holding the implement, I’ll lift up my foot without saying a word. You are to quickly but gently remove my sandal and kiss the sole of that foot. When I say, “Ok.” Then you are to put my sandal back on, kiss the top of my foot and then we’ll do the same for my other foot.
- Pick Up – When you’re done showing your subservience, you are to put everything away. I’ll hand you the implement I was holding (unless I was wearing it, in which case I’ll put it or them back on) and your are to put it (along with any other implement) in its/their respective place(s).
- Log The Spanking – Within 24 hours, you are to add the spanking to our spanking log detailing what you got it with and other insight as to how the spanking went. Optional: If you feel so inclined, you may also write me a letter of thanks or thoughts of the spanking you just received.
So that’s it. My real spanking rules. Feel free to adopt them as your own or use them as a starting point and create something specific for you and your man.
By having rules like this in place and him knowing there are consequences if he doesn’t follow them. Further establishes that it is indeed a very real and no non-sense whuppin’. After one or two of these sessions, the very threat of you giving him a real spanking will speak VOLUMES to him and oftentimes be enough to straighten him up right on the spot.
UPDATE: Many of you have asked for some sort of printable version of “The Punishment Spanking Rules”, but to list all the details from this post, would make it too big. So I came up with the CORE punishment spanking rules, that is printable on a standard 8 1/2″ x 11″ page.
This is smaller preview…
I left the “BY ORDER OF” Blank, so you can customize it yourself. For YOUR Wicked Queen, King, Goddess, etc. You can also buy a nice stock paper to print it on and frame it. You asked for it, and you’re going to “get it”. See what I did there? 😉
Anyway, for those that requested it…here you go: Printable Punishment Spanking Rules.
Any weekend, my wife like to spank me during one hour with a large belt.
Good! I’m glad to hear that she is keeping you in line!
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Why thank you for the kind words! As we live this lifestyle, we knew we could provide REAL content about what we do. More posts coming soon.
As a 24/7, female-led, DD couple, we only use spanking for punishment and there are certain rules. While not written like yours, our have evolved over the course of our DD relationship. We do not have a formal sentencing like yours, but when an infraction has been committed, punishment follows immediately. Even away from home, the spanking takes place as soon as possible after the offense. Assuming the position varies due to where we are. However it always includes me baring my ass and presenting to her for punishment. There is no pre-punishment statement from me…she states the offense I committed and I agree that punishment is necessary. No movement…. I am allowed to squirm a bit, but not move far out of position and must almost immediately return to position and present my ass for the next stroke. I am not allowed to swear of even talk unless spoken to. We don’t do the final count as all offenses on our list have a prescribed punishment. There are 3 levels and state the number of strokes, position and implement. She does have the authority to alter anything in the prescribed punishment. She mostly uses it a guide for punishment. After the spanking, I thank her but am left alone to reflect on my behavior. I do maintain a log of punishment spankings and update it after each spanking.
Hi Cowboy, thanks for sharing your experience. Sounds like there are a lot of similarities is how punishment is meted out. I like her already. To be honest, there are many times when I won’t ask for his pre-punishment spanking and just get after his backside. I have a lot of respect for husbands/bf’s that are able to submit to a REAL spanking. Because as you well know…it is not easy to take or accept that kind of pain/punishment. But…it is very effective at teaching our men what needs to be taught.
Oh, I agree…. Her spankings may not be quite as harsh as yours, but I willfully submit and accept whatever she dishes out. Our punishment spankings differ from maintenance spankings in 3 ways….No warm up, no safe word, and no after care.
I just started following your website and like it very much. I have a blog on here detailing my maintenance spankings. Check it out sometime…..mymaintenanceday.blogspot.com. Love to know what you think about it.
cowboy
Hi Tina and thank you for your comments, kind words and insight into your very similar situation! Always a pleasure speaking with another “woman of power”. 😉 It is pretty amazing how in sync our relationships are and how we came into them quite organically. I love it. I totally get your statement about if your husband got hurt, your empathy and caring nature comes out, but…when he’s earned a trip to the “woodshed”… I too take my husband’s punishment very seriously and the persona of “The Wicked Queen” comes out to mete out a severe punishment. He has stated similar things as your husband, noting that “there is nothing fun about a real spanking”. And that he feels more “balanced” afterwards and boy is he a well mannered, eager to please husband for weeks to come afterwards. Interesting situation indeed but one that has brought us to higher levels of trust, love and intimacy. I truly feel that most women in a healthy relationship would benefit from some form of what you and I have found. Hope to hear from you again!
Love the punishment rules , takes a strong man to comply I bet
Hi again Dan! Yes, he’s learned that if he doesn’t comply, that it means extras swats or lashes. I also like that there is a mental discipline aspect for him with these rules. He does move around a little bit and I give him a ~little~ slack if using the Wicked Switch. But not too much slack. He manages to stay in position fairly well most of the time.
Love to get a whipping
Good rules. One thing to consider: my wife insists for me to be completely naked for punishment.
I think if my ex wife disciplined me we would still be married. I remember one year she told me to look after the garden while she went for a two week stay at her parents but me being lazy I didn’t water the garden and everything she planted was dead when she got back.I felt so guilty and I should have suggested a suitable punishment like a belting would put things right.
Hi London, thank you for your comment and for sharing your story. While we don’t claim spanking will fix any and all relationships, for some couples in a similar situation…I would say that spanking in this situation, could alleviate guilt for the perpetrator (at the same time teaching them a good lesson). It can also give the spanker a little satisfaction to mete out the punishment, and a sense of justice being done. Plus I believe that after a spanking, it is easier for both parties move forward with no resentment felt by her and no guilt felt by you. Plus the chance of a repeat occurrence would be greatly diminished. 😉
Yes, I totally agree.
Trying to encourage my wife to administer an over the knee spanking, as a pre curser to sex, however she appears very reluctant to do so?
Fun spankings as part of foreplay can be great fun! In fact, that’s how we got started down this road. This particular article was written with a punishment spanking in mind. If you are going to read/share an article regarding fun spankings with her, I would recommend one my husband wrote back in 2014, called “How To Give A Fun Spanking“. Lots of great ideas there to make it as enjoyable as it should be. Good luck!
Outstanding list of rules for a naughty boy to follow! And the photograph of his well-spanked bottom is how i believe MY bottom should look on a regular basis. Great job!
Thank you! I don’t think I’ve done the final count in the last couple of spankings. I need to re-establish that! 😉
My wife has very similar punishment rules as you do. She can order punishment at any time for any reason, there is no appeal, her word is final. Before it starts, I have to strip completely, kneel at her feet and state what I’ve done and ask for her discipline. Then assume the position, usually bent over the bed or couch, sometimes outside in the back. She will proceed with the spanking, using as much force as she wants for however long she wants, using the implement of her choice. I’m not allowed to move or speak unless told to, if I do she will correct it quickly, usually with a hard smack or squeeze to my balls. Once she starts, she shows no mercy at all, more than a few times I’ve had marks or bruises for a few days.
Afterwards, I have to kneel again and thank her for punishing me for what I have done. Depending on her mood, that may be the end of it, or she may make me stand or kneel in the corner. A few times she had a friend of hers over when it happens to watch.
Adhering to good punishment spanking rules, makes the spanking that much more effective. Glad to hear she runs a tight ship!
She indeed does, even if I have behaved she will still sometimes give me a good hiding, just because, and to remind me who is boss. The last one just a few days ago, and I still feel it and have the marks.
Outstanding.
I am a very submissive crossdressing sissy and my wife has started spanking me but she also lets my sister-in-law so it and that is not fun. She is an ex-marine and she hates me. When she spanks me I know I will be crying like a little school girl before she gets through. She always tells me she is going to spank me with her leather belt as hard as she can until she can’t raise her arm up again.
I’ve been the only one to spank my husband but have seen videos where there is a woman on each side and spanking at the same time. I’m sure that would be very tough for anyone to take. I’m sure you’ll learn quite the lesson!
It is obvious that you are his Queen; and therefore administer his punishment, when necessary. Which you seem to apply very severely. However, are you perfect in every way all the time, or do you allow Joey to punish spank your bottom when you misbehave? I am intrigued by what you write; and by what some women write about being severely spanked and frequently. One woman in particular says that she deserves the frequent punishments. I think that she should not be spanked so hard so often. I have always been fascinated to read about girls/young women being spanked by young women teachers, since I overheard the Headmistress administer such spankings when, as a 13 year old, I lived at an independent girls boarding school where mother taught. I was married to a beautiful young French woman for 7 years until Leukaemia killed her at just 29. Strangely, I never thought about spanking during our life together. We enjoyed a wonderful relationship, and she was wildly sexually adventurous, so she might have consented; but I would never have wanted to hurt her. If my wife had suggested domestic discipline punishment spankings for naughtyness, I think that I would have agreed, so long as it went both ways. However she was never more naughty than I could blast away the stress in a 10 minute session with a punchbag at the gym. If we had a consensual agreement, I think that I could have brought myself to just make her cry after naughtyness; but never anything like as severe as your husband needs. As soon as she began to cry my smacks would have become lighter.
First and foremost, my condolences regarding your wife.
As far as, am I perfect in every way…of course not. Who is? If you continue to read through our blog, you’ll see how we evolved to this point. This level of accountability, was HIS idea and request. So we communicated about it thoroughly, and came up with how that should play out. We’ve evolved it as we’ve gone. We’ve both heard of domestic discipline in M/f, F/m, M/m, F/f, and even couples who practice it both ways. The correct version of it, is what the couple wants and decides to do. This just happens to be what works for us. Thanks for your comment! 🙂
The phrases are too long to remember, but the rules are very good, and it sounds like a very good way of doing a punishment spanking. But maybe you should make him sit down on a wooden chair afterwards to make sure that he has learned his lesson about misbehavior.
Hi Robert and thanks for the comment. Yes, it is a set of rules that have served us well as it pertains to real DD spankings/discipline. A couple of thoughts on the statements being too long to remember…
1) Pain is a wonderful teacher. If Joey needed to learn a phrase, I am certain that “painful incentives”, would help him memorize them quickly.
2) The statements were made for us. I would recommend couples come up with their own statements, or they can simply not use them at all.
Hope to hear from you again sometime. 🙂
i simply love Your set of rules. At a philosophical level, my humble opinion is that no punishment can reach its complete potential without a requisite ritual. Assuming that the main aims of punishment are to train, form and educate, i believe that rituals are of utmost importance. The punished must be helped to understand down to his fibres that he is helpless in the presence of his Wife and is completely subject to Her arbitrary will. The Wife sets the tone, chooses the boundaries, and distributes rewards as well as deserved punishment. The male has to fully understand this, absorb this, digest this, and “consent” to this. This psychological aspect of the whole process is like a nail that has to be driven firmly into a piece of wood. The physical punishment is the hammer that drives the nail in. When the nail is missing, the hammer will hit the wood, some chips will fly, but there will be no permanent mark of what has happened. However, when the nail is sharp and thick, it will go right in, and stay there for eternity. You, Ma’am, if i may say so, have crafted an incredible “nail” and You drive it in with terrible effect every time You pick Your hammer.
i am sure You or Your husband have Y/your favourites among these 14 steps. And certainly each of these steps resonate differently with those who read them. For me, as a foot fetishist and a natural submissive, the favourite step is number 12 “Show of Subservience”. And this is not because it involves kissing feet; at least not in the way that many would expect from a foot fetishist. Step 12 is my favourite, because it finally gives me a concrete solution to a question that has been bothering me for some time: how can one ensure that the female foot ceases (albeit briefly) to be an object of desire, and become an object of subservience and respect? How can the Dominant Woman ensure that a kiss at Her feet ceases to be a pleasurable experience and instead fully assumes its intended symbolic meaning of acceptance of the natural inferiority of men in the presence of a Dominant Woman? When i ask that question, i implicitly assume that the sub in question has a foot fetish; but even if he does not, the very act of touching the skin of a Dominant Woman in itself can evoke pleasurable feelings. So, how can one ensure, even for a brief moment, that all these pleasurable feelings vanish so that a kiss on Your sole becomes a true Show of Subservience? i think there are not many ways in which this can be done, and even before i ever read Your blog, i had reached the “philosophical” conclusion that the probably easiest way to achieve this is through severe corporal punishment. After all, unless the sub is a true masochist, corporal punishment will be far from a pleasurable experience. But still, one cannot hope to achieve all that by simply punishing the sub and then immediately offering Her feet. There should be something “cerebral” involved. And i humbly believe that this cerebral aspect is very present in Your approach and rituals. The fact that You associate sandals with different punishment implements already achieves an implicit connection between feet and discipline, and hence between feet and subservience. As a foot fetishist and submissive, i think that Your husband is very lucky because he is given the chance to live this very abstract form of submission when kissing Your feet (still with tears in his eyes).
When i look at the picture You symbolically use in explaining step 12 (and all Your other pictures shared throughout Your blog), i do not see just another picture of Female feet. Having read many of Your entries now, in these pictures i see subservience, i see Your husband’s tears, and i see raw and non-compromising feminine power. So… thank You!
Thank you for this. You have quite the way with words. Makes me wonder if you’re a writer? If not, you may have missed your calling. 😉
I wouldn’t say that we’ve become “jaded” in this “thing of ours”, but we’ve been doing it for quite some time, that some of the little nuances and subtleties are not at the forefront anymore. So it is nice to hear your perspectives as you’ve obviously read through some of our blogs and have had a nice purview into what we do. When we set out to start chronicling what we do, our intent was to be as honest as possible about it, and provide our insight as to how it works well for us. Also to share how when spankings do happen, they are in fact very real.
As far as my favorite step or part of these spanking rules…Hmmm, I am not really a sadist, but when Joey has been a brat for a while, I DO enjoy spanking that right out of him. And reminding him of “what being bad feels like”, as my belt, paddle or other implement is wreaking havoc on his backside. A sense of justice being served has always been a good feeling for me.
But I think I like when it is over the best. I do like to have him show his subservience at my feet. Partially as a reminder of my power and the punishment/pain I can bring. But also as a favor to my wonderful husband, who while being one of the strongest men I know, has submitted to me and only me, for a very harsh spanking. I love what you wrote in your other comment, “…the circle is complete. A new circle has just begun.”
And then, even after that…there is a wonderful feeling in the air. Joey talks about feeling calm and balanced after such a session. He’s certainly worn out and eager to please. But there are almost tangible spikes of trust and intimacy between us in these moments. Consequently, our love, trust and intimacy have grown to levels we never thought possible.
Ma’am, first of all thank You very much for Your generous comment about my writing abilities. i am not a writer but i try to write stories from time to time, as an outlet for my submissive tendencies. i am married and my wife knows about my tendencies, but she does not partake in bdsm; and i would not want to experience bdsm with another Woman as that would be an act of infidelity towards her. So, i try to satiate my feelings by writing stories. Unfortunately, all of them feel a bit “plastic” or banal. The idea of “kissing feet purely as a subservient gesture” has been a motif around which i have been trying to write a story for some time… but something has been missing. This is why i felt so enthusiastic about Your rituals, because it immediately filled that gap for me. So, You could say that You already wrote my story (and Y/your journey certainly inspires the writer in me) 🙂 And i am grateful for it! In fact, the following quote from Your reply would probably be the core of my story around which everything else evolves: “I do like to have him show his subservience at my feet. Partially as a reminder of my power and the punishment/pain I can bring.”
i wonder whether Your husband feeling calm and balanced is because of the physical effects of the spanking or because the spanking has restored the power imbalance between You and your husband, and put him back into the right mindset of devotion and subservience. You also say that he is eager to please… One could say that he is eager to please because of the pain, but the very real threat of pain has always been (and presently is!) there, and he clearly knows where he will end up. So, if i may respectfully speculate, perhaps my original definition of this whole process as a “circle” was quite accurate… The spanking marks the end of the circle. The post-spanking rituals start the new circle and the submissive psyche has fully been restored. Your husband serves because he needs to serve, there is no other option for him… Or maybe i am completely wrong, so please accept my apologies!
If i may elaborate a bit more: the only other way i can think of which can achieve a similar level of intimacy, trust and subservience is chastity. In fact, most blogs i have read mention that chastity makes the submissive one very open to manipulation and he always becomes very eager to please. BUT: i do not think chastity can achieve the “kissing the Female Feet as a pure gesture of subservience” idea that i am yearning for, because chastity is strongly paired with continuous arousal and so “pure subservience at a Woman’s feet” will be very difficult to achieve. So, still, despite my inexperience, i think that Your method is the only one for me (maybe psychological domination is another way, but that would be difficult to define). Interestingly, after having read Your entries, i remembered two clips i watched a very long time ago. Both clips are of the same professional Mistress. In one of them She engages in heavy kicking of the submissive’s private parts. In the other one, She delivers a very harsh corporal punishment on a sub (and in this latter clip, the sub’s agony is very palpable). In both clips, there are two brief moments when She commands the sub to kiss Her feet. It was probably then when my yearning to experience the feeling of kissing a Woman’s feet after and only after She has made me suffer has emerged (although i did not notice it at the time). Because those moments in those clips were the only ones when i could feel domination and submission reach beyond a mere clip and touch something inside me. Well… they were the only occasions until i found Y/your blog and read about “Step Number 12” 🙂 Now i cannot look at pictures of Your feet (or belts, or hands, or sandals, or punishment implements) without an authentic feeling of respect and subtle inherent inferiority.
Now, i know that i would probably hate the pain of a true corporal punishment (who does not?). But then i would still probably hope to see the end of it just to experience that feeling of subservience at my Owner’s Feet. It is very scary that once one reaches that point, there is probably no going back. And it is also ironic that for me, the desire to reach that point stems from my foot fetish: a source of physical arousal pulls me into an abyss of physical pain. But then, both are different reflections of mental submission, so maybe there is nothing ironic here…
Couple of questions for you along with a couple of answers. 🙂 My first question is…
1) Why will your wife not spank you?
2) Does she know about your foot fetish and let you worship hers?
I think Joey’s feeling of calm and balance post-spanking, is mostly attributed to his naturally assertive/aggressive tendencies. He’s a hardwired Type A personality for sure. And so once his hubris becomes too much (as determined by me), I take him down a notch or two. This is a release of the inner-aggression within him, but yes, I also think the fact that our power dynamic being restored is part of it as well. I’ve also pondered that being the Type A person that he is, he struggles to give up power, unless “power” is used to take it away. And the spankings I give him, are certainly harsh, powerful and capable of re-establishing my authority. A new circle begins. 😉
We’ve obviously have both heard of the chastity element within many FLRs, but we haven’t ventured down that road, and as of now, we don’t have a desire to. But to each their own.
Also, the kicking of private parts is WAY beyond what we feel is safe, sane and consensual. I guess it could be consensual, but safe and sane? Is there a “safe” way to kick someone in their privates? I don’t think so, but I’m not here to judge. Just not for us. At. All.
Your comment, “Now i cannot look at pictures of Your feet (or belts, or hands, or sandals, or punishment implements) without an authentic feeling of respect and subtle inherent inferiority.” Made me smile. Joey has expressed similar thoughts, especially post spanking. But even beyond that. The other day, I pulled out the belt I was going to be wearing, and put it on the bed while I was getting ready. It was my Italian leather belt, and I’ve gotten into the habit of doubling it over, even when laying it down. He came in moments later and saw the belt doubled over on the bed, and it literally stopped him in his tracks. I could see the racing thoughts in his brain, trying to think of what he did. The association is strong and has quite the effect.
Yes, Joey hates the pain of a real spanking. But that’s what it is. A real spanking. That’s what makes it effective. If it was fun for him, he would be trying to get them all the time. And they would have NO effect on his behavior or attitude. As far as once you go down this road, it being scary as there is no going back. I don’t agree with that thought. Communication is at the core of this. It has to be. If for whatever reason, you were not wanting to continue, you could simply put a stop to it. This is a consensual agreement between two people. 🙂
Ma’am, i fully agree with what You say about kicking private parts. In fact, i think some relationships that W/we see online go a bit too far, even to the point of being abusive. And the definition of “consensual” can become very blurred if the Domme and/or sub are being manipulated to think or act in a certain way. The act of “kicking in privates” may at the very least have a detrimental effect on the ability of the sub to have children. And a considerate Domme would never do that.
i am very proud (if i may) to have made You smile with my comment 🙂 i am not surprised at the way Your husband reacted to seeing Your belt in a very suggestive setting (doubled over). Your authority and arbitrary power over Your husband is now so etched into Y/your lives that the mere sight of Your belt (in its suggestive doubled over position) evokes the train of thought: “She might have decided to discipline me because it is in Her power to do so. Certainly i must have done something to deserve it. What could it be? Or maybe this is not Her intention… But what if? Have i done something wrong??” This is a wonderful display of “passive” control where Your control is exerting itself, without any conscious effort on Your part. i can only guess how empowering (and perhaps at times intoxicating?) it must feel to have such an influence over Your husband.
Now, let me answer Your questions, Ma’am 🙂
1) my wife is not really into spanking. We tried it a couple of times but she never enjoyed it (although i was visibly enjoying receiving it). i also think that she would feel bad being in a position to hurt me (despite me wanting it). So, we did not pursue it.
2) She does know my fetish, and i think she enjoys it whenever i go crazy about her feet. But she also enjoys it whenever i feel crazy about anything related to her 🙂 Very recently we experimented a bit with the following: i position myself so that my privates are right under her feet, while she does not pay attention to me and does something else (watching tv, reading a book and so on…). She then randomly moves her feet from time to time, which quickly leads to me being frustrated and squirming. She enjoys putting me into that state. But she certainly is not interested in being a Domme. It’s just not something she feels in herself. Or maybe i am wrong: sometimes before she leaves home, i playfully kneel in front of her, and offer to help her put her shoes on. Once, to my amazement, she made me put on a pair of shoes, and then suddenly said (with a very cold voice) “no I do not like these, take them off, and bring a different pair”. And she did that, just to put me into an awkward position. So, maybe she does have it somewhere in her, but it is not something she chose to bring out yet 🙂
One thing that i noticed recently (and felt awkwardly proud about) is this: she hates it whenever i try to lick her feet because she does not like the wetness on her feet. Only a few months ago did i realise that now i only enjoy kissing her feet and do not enjoy licking at all. And i think at a subconscious level this was because of my desire to “please” her in this way. So, You can say that she has ended up conditioning me, although not on purpose 🙂
If You have any other questions, i would be very happy to answer them, too, Ma’am.
yep what ever you said….
great rules for spanking in a flr-relationship
Thank you! They have worked well for us through the years, and I certainly think each couple should customize them to what works best for them. 🙂
well You sound pretty organized with your protocol …. how long did it take Joey to conform to it 100%?
I’ve strayed just a little from it, but the core of it still is mostly in place. And it only took Joey a couple times to earn some penalty swats/lashes, to understand that it is better to follow the rules and take the main spanking, without adding to it afterwards. 😉
Excellent structure, we use most of 1-9 in some form. The one we differ on is “no talking”. I say a lot, and it’s encouraged. “There are no prizes for suffering in silence”. I’ve been told many times . Pleading, “please don’t” just means I haven’t accepted I deserve it and that’s just a challenge to be corrected. Distress, “Oww, it hurts”, well what disciplinarian doesn’t want to hear that. Contrition, “I’m sorry, I won’t do it again”, good for us both, particularly for me to cry it out of my system. Surrender, “I’ve learned my lesson, please stop” well the golden rule of spanking is it doesn’t start until you want it to stop!
Of course anything I say invites a response and then the punishment become more interactive I think We both feel better when a spanking gets noisy! Of course no swearing.
our “afters” are different, I always get corner time, when I come out I have to apologise, the core bit is “I’m sorry for being naughty, thank you for my spanking” but I’m expected to embellish and extras can be given if the apology isn’t convincing.
Structure does make make discipline more effective for the recipient, trust me in that ! And more satisfying for the disciplinarian. There’s probably no one perfect way, but yours is very good guide probably many of us will use a lot of thr elements, or should do 🙂
Thank you. We stick to most of this still, but I have not fully enforced all of it over the past year. But trust me, I still get my point across. 😉 But yes I agree that there should be some sort of structure for a DD spanking.
Interesting point about talking during the spanking, and that is one of the rules I haven’t been super stringent on. I could see the argument that contrition is good to hear and know you’re getting the point across. The initial purpose for that rule was to not stop or pause the spanking with any unnecessary talking. It is spanking time, not talking time. I’ll have to watch through our last couple of videos to see how much talking I allowed. Thanks for the comment and insight.
The only thing I’m really not in favor of, is placing your shoes or your sandals on your feet, as any subservient role, I agree with everything, except belittling the person about to receive a spanking, and represents a degree of inequality.
Hi Ryan and thanks for your comment. As I mentioned, these are what I created for our situation. But I will state that during any point in time before, during or after his spanking. There is no intent to “belittling” Joey. We respect each other too much. If he felt I was belittling him or humiliating him, he would tell me. That’s why we don’t do “writing lines”, or standing in the corner afterwards. The gesture to us (when used), is just a gesture of his submission, and to increase the value of the sandal associations, I’ve created.