A Spanking Machine Exists

In Jess’s recent blog post – How You Can Get a Spanking. She had a section within it, talking about spanking machines. One of them (Robospanker), appears to not be making their anymore, but she had also reached out to, and heard back from the makers of the “Spanker Machine“. Shortly thereafter, they sent us one of their new units to try out, and to use in one of our upcoming videos. Yay for me! 😬

So Jess asked me to put it together and give my initial thoughts on it. So here we go!

The unit was sent FEDEX, which is the way all these spanking machines are sent. And as a side note, the shipping was pretty fast considering we live in the Midwest and it was coming from Spain! Hat’s off to the manufacturer and FEDEX for getting it off and delivered so quickly! 👏👏

Packaging – This spanking machine was packaged very discreetly. Obviously an important thing for most people. It was also packed very well. In fact, I had to break out the box cutter to get enough plastic and tape off, so I could get to the box. But…I’d rather it be well packed like that, instead of not. Especially considering the distance it was traveling.

Size – I love how compact this spanking machine is. It is just over 8 and a half inches tall, and just over 3 inches wide (not including the holding arm/base).

I remember when I was looking at the RoboSpanker, that is was a much, much larger unit. Something that you would have to consider its footprint size, and having the space for in a room or in a closet. This device, can easily fit under a bed, on a shelf, or in a small foot locker (which is where we have it, along with other “goodies”). 😉

Assembly – Most of the time, I am team “follow the assembly directions”, but after pulling all the parts out, and looking at them, it was extremely easy to put together. That said, I DO recommend reading the instructions before actually using the device, as there are some important operating instructions.

Electricity – As it comes from Spain, the electrical plug is natively the “Euro-plug”, but it comes with electrical adapters to plug into our US standard plug. Nothing difficult about putting the adapter onto the plug.

Controller – We got one of the newer machines that comes with this cool little controller. I was also able to figure out how the controller works pretty easily. It has three different working modes.

1) Continuous Mode – Once you turn on, this spanking machine starts spanking and doesn’t stop until you turn it off.

2) Random Mode – This mode gives random swats, instead of just perfectly timed out swats. The thought being to simulate more of a real spanking, where swats can happen at various intervals.

3) Timer Mode – You can set the timer from 1 to 5 minutes of spanking, and you can watch it count down to the end. Can you make it all the way through? So like I said, some very cool features with this little timer. Note: You can also use the spanking machine without the timer, but I’m not sure why someone would want to do that?

Holding Arm/Base – It comes with a clamp and an arm that you attached the spanking machine to. The clamp should be attached to something sturdy and tight enough so that won’t slip, and the spanking machine can be rotated in the arm, in almost any position. This can accommodate the bent over position, the butt over a pillow position, or a laying flat on the bed position. Very versatile and pretty easy to set up.

Implement Holder – The implement holder on the side, where you clamp your spanking implements into. The width available to put an implement in, was a little smaller than I would have wanted. When I tried to put a Lexan cane in there, it wouldn’t fit because of the foam/rubber handle on the cane was a little wider in girth, than the opening of the clamp area. But I was able to remove the handle on the cane, and then the cane fit in quite easily.

But after running the spanking machine with the Lexan cane, to see how it swung the cane…the cane started slipping a little. So I took a rubber glove that I use for BBQ’ing, cut off a couple of inches worth of a finger on the glove, then put that on the end of the cane that was to go in the implement holding clamp. That little rubber piece added the extra extra grip it needed, and worked like a charm to hold the cane in place. That said, I don’t you would need to do that with a rattan cane or one of our Wicked Switches (should I ever get around to making them again – Trust me…don’t be too anxious to get one of those!) LOL

I also had a heck of a time getting one of our wooden bath brushes to fit into the implement holder. I really had to push to finally squeeze it in there. The plates of the clamp appear to be a little flexible to help grip whatever implement you put in it, but I still had concerns about possible breaking it when pushing the bath brush inside it. What I’ll do before putting the bath brush in there again, is just sand down the handle area of the bath brush, to reduce its width, and so it will fit in much easier.

It seems like canes/rods and small paddles or hair/bath brushes are going to be the best implements to use with this, as there is a weight limit of 4.4 ozs.

Intensity Setting – So this has an intensity setting from “1” which is the minimum intensity, to “MAX” which is one step above the “10” setting. You simply push in and turn the dial to the desired intensity.

Of course, I set it to “MAX” to see what’s up. 🤔 I mean, have you SEEN my wife spank me? So I wasn’t too afraid…but having said that, I did have both my pants and underwear on, AND the controller in my hand ready to turn it off in case it started to slice and dice me. 😅

I attached it to a desk in my office, and had the cane in there ready to rock and roll. With the arm it comes with, it is also easy to adjust height, which is obviously important. But the key takeaway there is that you should be able to use most desks you attach it to. So…I clamped it on, adjusted the height, then I needed an extension cord to plug it into. NOTE: It does have a decently long cord. I’ll have to measure it next time I have it out, but just the plugs in my office where all used up with a variety of computer things and so I needed to run a cord somewhere else. Then I “assumed the position” (bent over with the cane somewhat resting on my butt. Then turned it on and awaited the first lash.

I heard the sound of the spanking machine as it pulled the cane back, and then released. Thwak. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. So I stayed in position for a few more. For me it wasn’t bad at all, but again…keep in mind that I get spanked VERY hard, from a very good and harsh spanker…that is Jess. So my pain threshold is up there a bit.

So I took my pants and underwear down, and got back into position. Note: After the machine turns off, the implement returns to the point of impact position. This is helpful as you know exactly where to line yourself up for the swat. So I turned it back on, heard the noise and “Thwak!” There it is! I could feel more of a sting now.

And so I stayed in position and took a few more lashes. I noticed that there are certain “sweet spots” you need to figure out, which can be done by slightly moving your butt into various positions. After a few more lashes, and some brought a bit more sting with them, I stopped. Not because I had had enough, but I knew Jess and I were going to record a video of this thing spanking me, fairly soon, and didn’t want a marked up butt, nor to get too used to it. So…that was the set up, test and initial thoughts on the Spanking Machine. Now to await for the real showdown with it. 😟

UPDATE: The spanking machine spanking has occurred!