One of the most common questions we get asked is how do ~I~ find a wife like you(rs). Or I WISH I had a wife like you(rs) or something along those lines. The other popular question or sentiment is how do I approach my wife or significant other, about trying a lifestyle like this. My wife has addressed the latter question in her blog post, Why Women Should Consider A F/M Spanking Relationship. Along with a couple other posts.
But as we haven’t really addressed the “finding” aspect. I thought I would talk about that today.
For those that don’t know our story, there is a little more detailed background found on our About Us page, but the quick hit version is that we evolved into this pretty organically. First by incorporating fun spankings into our foreplay and then we moved onto role playing. From there, we started a new spanking chapter where my wife became the primary spanker, which eventually evolved into us practicing domestic discipline from a F/m perspective. And while I just covered that journey in couple of sentences, the reality was that it happened over the course of many, many years.
So for those that already have experience being in a spanking relationship or for those who truly desire to be in a spanking relationship…starting in a vanilla relationship can be a little problematic as there is certainly a time commitment just to get to the point of trust and comfortability, in order to bring up the topic. And if they are unable to try or adopt this concept for whatever reason, then you have to weight how important that relationship is to you, versus your desire to let go of your spanking relationship desire. Which might be the right thing to do, if you find that someone special. IDK. Only the person in that position can make that decision but damn, that’s gotta’ be a hard one to make. And if the decision is to end the relationship, because they really want to find someone that can and will provide that spanking aspect, then whatever amount of time spent in the first relationship, has passed and you have to start all over again. 🙁 I know…tough situation.
So after thinking through this dilemma, our first thought was to create our own network/dating site where people who were into spanking (to one degree or another), could join and potentially connect with each other. But the reality of creating such a network/dating site is very labor intensive, expensive, AND…there are already sites out there like that. But which ones are the best?
Understanding “best” is a term that is often subjective, we spent some time vetting and researching various sites, until we found a couple of the biggest (and we feel best), services like that around. Here’s the first one…
As of now, this is our first choice. Just because it is specific to BDSM & Alternative Lifestyle Personals.
The second site we found doesn’t openly state BDSM but it is one of the larger “non-vanilla” dating and hook up sites. While the site openly mentions people looking for sex or hook-ups, it also mentions helping millions find “traditional partners”. That said, we also understand that some people may JUST be looking for a hookup or for someone to be open to provide a good spanking.
Again main goal for us in providing these, was to help people find a partner who is already non-vanilla and already experienced or at the very least, open to the idea of a spanking type of relationship. Additionally both of these sites will show you how many members are in your area. Making meeting up, a little more accommodating as it pertains to logistics.
Disclaimer: The above links are our affiliate links. Just meaning that we would get a small commission if you were to try the service. But please know it won’t cost you any thing extra. We’re certainly not going to get rich doing this but any extra money we raise, helps us keep this site alive. As you probably know by now, we do this blog because we believe in the benefits of what we do and want to continue being a resource for those wanting to explore and those already going down this journey.
Ultimately, the spirit of this post is to address one of our most asked questions and to try and help people find other like-minded individuals, in an effort to explore and experience what we feel is a very helpful, rewarding and intimate element to our lifestyle. So to those asking, “How do I find a wife like yours?”, We’re hoping one of these services could be the starting point for you. Good luck!
UPDATE: Shortly after this post, I started thinking about how I’ve been able to get pretty much all my girlfriends to spank me to one degree or another. Including my wife Jess, who as you know now, is my Wicked Queen. She’ll be the first to tell you that she was straight up vanilla when we first met.
So I thought, what if I could convey to our readers, the things I did to not only get spanked by my girlfriends, but how I got Jess to spank me? And how it evolved to her giving me real domestic discipline spankings for my bad attitude or misdeeds. How cool would it be to provide those answers to the most asked question we get? Answer: Pretty Cool. 😉
So I started writing. First it was just notes, thoughts and ideas. But over the course of about a year and a half, I finally put it into eBook format and am happy to present it here: eBook – How to Get Your Girlfriend or Wife to Spank You
If you want your GF or wife to spank you…this book could very well hold the key. Good luck to you!