Maintenance Spankings

So most of you probably know what maintenance spankings are. For those of you that don’t. It is simply where the spanker, spanks the spankee periodically (usually weekly), at usually a set day. Normally they are not a full blown punishment spankings, but just enough of a spanking to convey the point of who is in charge and to remind the spankee, why they should continue to behave. Of course there are all sorts of variations to this and again, we maintain the position that, whatever works for each couple, is the way to go. But thought we’d provide this brief description to give the uninitiated a quick insight.

leather spanking implements

 

Joey and I had been talking about maintenance spankings for a little while now. Actually since the end of last year. In fact, we had all but decided that after his last trip to the woodshed (First Woodshed Whuppin’ of 2021), we’d give it about a month or so (after the effects from the trip to the woodshed started wearing off), and then switch over to doing maintenance spankings about a month or so to test it out.

on her lapThe thought being that when he gets taken to the woodshed for a whoopin’, it is a significant spanking. Usually in the area of 80 to 100 swats or lashes. And those woodshed whuppin’s keep him in check for a month to a month and a half afterward. So the original idea was that, if he were to get 20 “maintenance” swats/spanking every week, then over the course of a normal month, he’d get 4 spankings for an accumulative total of 80 swats. BUT…the 80 swats would be spread out weekly, less severe and with less severe implements, that it would be something that benefited HIM.

But the main sticking point we both kept coming to, was that I would be spanking him for doing “nothing”. I don’t really like the thought of that. I don’t WANT to bring him pain for no reason.

Now I DO like giving him any needed discipline that he’s earned. I DO enjoy spanking the arrogance and attitude out of his backside when he’s been a brat. I DO like feeling justice is being or has been served. But I like all those things WHEN he’s done something (or things) to actually earn the spanking.

When he’s being good, the last thing I think about is giving him a discipline spanking. I don’t like the idea of hurting him for no reason. And after talking about it, he too mentioned that he doesn’t like the possibility of, after a week of being helpful, productive, and not a brat, that he’d get spanked at the end of the week anyway.

Another potential pitfall for us is that oftentimes, when Joey has earned a woodshed whoopin’, he’ll just continue down the road of being bad as he knows he’s going to get it anyway and might as well go out in a “blaze of glory”. So I could see him, knowing that he’s going to get it later in the day, just being a brat because he knows he’s going to get spanked anyway. OR…perhaps he’d act up so he actually felt like he did something to be spanked for? Hmmm…

The other thing that occurred to me was the thought that it could become like a chore. Time to take out the garbage, time to wash the car, time to vacuum the dining room, time to spank my husband. LOL.

So, for US…we’ve decided to not go forward with the maintenance spanking test. We’re going to keep on doing what we do. Eventually he’ll start slipping…In fact, as of this post, he’s already slipping from the last whuppin’, which I am downgrading to just “an attitude adjustment”. So I’ll be taking care of that very soon. And then after that, I’ll probably get the usual month to month and a half of good behavior until, he earns himself an attitude adjustment or another trip to the woodshed.

I think the most important takeaway here however, is that we approached a concept regarding consensual spanking, discussed it at great length, and then both decided we didn’t want to go that route for reasons important to us. And that’s really key for any couple in any type of spanking relationship. Even when doing “fun spankings”, communication and setting expectations will go a long way towards keeping it fun.

Again, we’re not rippin’ on maintenance spankings. We understand that some couples employ and enjoy them for a variety of reasons, and we respect that. We like the position of, “To Each Their Own”.

So…what are YOUR thoughts about Maintenance Spanking? Let us know in the comments! 🙂

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Sandy

Dear Queen

Great that you are raising this subject.
I really wonder what other Ladies may think about this…

You, dear Queen, and me, we had sort of a “privy” mail-exchange a while ago on that very topic when I was considering to introduce maintenance spankings and asked you about your feelings (and as you know I always greatly appreciate your opinion).
In your present script you are fully confirming what you had expressed at the time. I considered your arguments well, and I decided not to introduce “mainties” although I was favoring the idea very much:
The main reason is that Stef’s whole behavior tends to get sluggish when his last correction was administered too long ago. The frustrating thing is that in such times I mostly cannot pinpoint exactly an infraction that would earn him a good slippering or caning. That’s the time where I wished to just fetch the cane to remind him that it is just a grasp away and waiting for him. Maintenance spankings were an option here.
The main reason not to introduce “mainties” was that I did not want to have to introduce a “schedule” like Friday night at 7 p.m. or so that would have locked us in, thus preventing us from planning other things like seeing friends.
So in the end I decided to do infrequent “razzias” in the house when Stef starts to get feisty. He is not the most tidy person, so I always will find messy things in the office at home, open toilet-sets, a sink with beard-stubble and tooth-paste stains, socks or panties lying around somewhere etc. etc. etc.

In fact this IS maintenance spanking, but without a fixed time-frame. I do these “razzias” whenever I feel that Stef’s attidude becomes wanting..

I love thoses “razzias” as much as Stef hates them. No wonder. They always result in a very sore bottom..

Steve

I think it is just a reminder of who is in charge and a small taste of what a real spanking will be like if there is a slip up. It I understand that it may start to feel like a chore to be done. But maybe the reward of ongoing good behavior will make it worth the effort.

Sandy

Couldn’t agree more, Steve.

That’s just what I also felt: it’s a constant reminder of who is in charge.

The only thing that kept me from introducing “mainties” is the point that you have to introduce a fixed time. You cannot possibly introduce “mainties” to be given at any given time when I feel upset and think it would be great to beat him up…
I just cannot spank my hubby at whim only because I feel like doing so or since I do not like the general development of his overall behavior….
You would have to introduce fixed hours, and that’s the point where “mainties” do not fit into my overall considerations.

I am just too happy if somebody gives a better reasoning here..

cowboy

Wicked Queen, We have used maintenance spankings on our relationship for many years now. In agreement with the reasons you and others have posted, our 3 reasons for maintenance are similar and are as follows:
1. To reinforce who is in charge and my role as submissive in the relationship.
2. To serve as a constant reminder to me of what lies in store for poor behavior.
3.To act as a catch all for minor infractions which may not have warranted a discipline spanking at the time.

We schedule them randomly by tossing dice at the end of each maintenance session. They have become the backbone of our lifestyle and are long and hard enough to be effective.

dana

I believe there is only one way to use spankings in a DD relationship, and that one way is whatever works for you. What works is whatever partners agree they want. With many people, spankings are wanted or needed regardless of circumstances. When you’re too damn good, no spankings is a problem. Solution: spank for maintenance, and then you can be good and get your spankings too. And for people with poor memories, it can be a reminder of who’s in charge. If the memory is fine, then it’s a display of who’s in charge, which is part of wanting spankings. If the end result (pun intended) is happiness and fulfillment, then why would anyone question the practice?

Now I’m talking about spankings that hurt, not erotic ones. If you don’t like painful spankings, and I mean really don’t need them, then I can relate. I’m just fine without them. To me maintenance is a solution looking for a problem. I learned about spanking growing up, and the idea of it has never changed for me. If my parents had spanked for maintenance, I believe I would have every right to say they weren’t good parents. The whole idea of discipline falls apart for me if some spankings are more severe punishment for failure, and other spankings are less severe punishment for success. That’s a lose-lose for me, and the message has been totally garbled. Painful spanking must not be confused with anything other than punishment. When I get punished, I know I earned it. That’s the only way punishment makes sense. Spanking isn’t just about a burning behind, it’s about the shame of failure, as in misbehavior, irresponsibility, disrespect… where correction is needed. Nothing to correct, no point. When correction isn’t needed, that’s a very good thing, and success is helped along by the threat of a spanking truly not wanted. If I wanted a spanking, I’d just ask for it, which is a kind of maintenance but not for me.

You might ask, why enter into a DD relationship if I truly don’t want to spank or be spanked. I’m not sure of deeper answers, but the idea of spanking is erotic when used for real punishment. To live the idea is fulfilling, to avoid the punishment is the genuine goal.

Ddanon

We are in line with this as well. We do not implement maintenance spankings. Spankings are always in response to a bad attitude or behavior and are administered the day of the incident or sometimes the next day

Justin

We started domestic discipline a few weeks ago, my wife as the Head of Household. I love what it’s done for my wife so far. Her confidence and ownership of our relationship has really opened up. She feels so much more confident to let me know things that are bothering her, and her skills at a stern lecture are, shall we say, getting good.

Still, her comfort level with spanking is still a work in progress, and that is why we elected to start with maintenance spankings at least once per week both to get her into a stronger mindset around administering discipline to me, but to also make me physically understand who is in charge in the house. It has been a good thing so far, and I think critical for our beginning, but I expect at some point the maintenance will decrease once spanking is a stronger part of our relationship dynamic.

Before I post this, I just wanted to say thank you for this blog. When I first discovered it, I felt an immediate sense of calm, knowing that I found a process for us that could help keep me accountable both in the household and the business. Our communication had an immediate improvement, and I have a much more clear understanding of her feelings, how she needs help with the kids and the house in general, and I am held accountable for my actions, attitudes, and behaviors. For the first time, I feel like I have real accountability, not just an accountability buddy that asks me questions every day and I can blow off with a moments notice. I have actual, physical consequences, and it feels weird to say that I love it. Certainly a challenging transition, but I am so grateful that we have it now.

Justin

Thank you! We both totally agree that both of us are in this for the long haul, so slowly is exactly how we are approaching it. Personally, I’m really glad that it’s going slow. I’d be in for some serious trouble if she embraced this to the nth degree from the get go. Your article: “Can You Spank your Husband Without Feeling Bad?” is actually what got us started down this path. It was incredibly helpful. Happy to be a part of your community here!

Joey

Hey Justin, glad you guys found us and it sounds like you guys are already experiencing some awesome benefits regarding communication and accountability. Speaking of which, you hit the nail on the head regarding having “real” accountability. Certainly more effective than a late fee or an accountability buddy. Take care man!

Doug

Dear Queen,

I agree with all of the previous posts. However the mere word, “maintenance” defines it.
Maintain, If you have a baseline established, you use that to determine if and when a SPANKING is
needed to bring the behavior back to the baseline. This is like the LAW and the Spirit of the Law.
The LAW would be breaking agreed upon rules. The Spirit of the Law would be anything that is under
a rule, that bothers you. The second thought is if you are in charge, you and only you determine the time
and place and type of spanking that will commence. So its either a reason/no reason, maintenance,
discipline, or punishment spanking that you determine the level to be executed.
Just my two cents. If you truly are spanking out of LOVE and concern to make him a better man, then
hassle or no hassle doesn’t matter, it is your duty to make sure your charge remains in any and all
parameters that you set, and judgement falls quickly.

Jeff

I agree with your take on maintenance spankings. I think that if you use them, it should be at the start of the relationship to get him educated as to what to expect and give her more experience and confidence administering one. It should be discontinued after each partner learns their respective roles.

johnsk

Curious about this: When Joey’s bottom is bared for whatever kind of spanking. is sexual arousal on his part observable?

Mark

This is an interesting topic. My GF has weekly maintenance sessions and they’ve ebbed and flowed in effectiveness since we began. This is most likely due to fact we don’t live together and there are kids in both houses, thus alone time is minimal. I think the overwhelming consensus from the conversation is right though–whatever works for you as a couple is the right thing.

Mark

Instant Pot Cord? Yikes. What my GF generally resorts to is either kneeing my in the groin once or twice when kids are out of the room or earshot, or cupping my groin and squeezing until I wince. Then she makes a comment in my ear…”add 5/10/20 (etc) for this week. I’m disappointed in you.” That usually straightens me out pretty quick. We have discussed this and will be incorporating something she refers to as 2 minute discipline. While we haven’t done it yet (we don’t live with each other yet–that is happening this summer,) I am to go upstairs, go into walk-in closet and prepare for her to come up. While kids are occupied, she will then deliver the discipline where I am to remain quiet and take it.

Mark

Tell Joey that I’m sorry I put the thought in your head…:). To be honest, when a woman is standing in front of a man with his balls in her hand, he is definitely paying attention. She owns him at that moment and he is totally at her mercy. He will likely do anything she asks, and if he doesn’t…well she literally has the remedy in her hands and all she needs to do is begin squeezing and build the intensity until he relents. Flip side is being kneed in the balls–it is not expected, but shows who is boss immediately. With that image in back of mind, one might re-think misbehaving outside of formal discipline sessions.

Joey

Not disagreeing with it’s effectiveness (or your guy’s right to do so), but no kick or pressure to the pills for me. 🙂

Mark

🙂

Chris

Like you already mentioned it is “each their own”. There is no right way. There are only two rules: “1. It has to work!” and “2. If it does not work out, change it so it does work out!”.
That said i do like the idea of maintenance spanking. For the spankee it often is almost therapeutical. It does not feel like a punishment, but more like an act of love and understanding. Moreover it is a good opportunity to get piled up emotions out of the system.

Joey

Hi Chris and that is a good point. Spankings can certainly be therapeutic and provide a good release of emotions. Thanks for your comment!

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