My First DD Spanking

Hi All,

This is the first guest post from a reader of ours, “Adek”, who was kind enough to share his perspective on his recent and first DD spanking. Great post, thanks again Adek!

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thinking about getting spankedSitting anxiously as I contemplate my request… A real disciplinary spanking. I’ve moved back and forth between implements and number of strikes. Her stipulation is that I set these parameters – we’re both new to this after all . At some point it’ll be taken out of my hands but I’m hoping I’ll be courageous enough to share the information that’ll make it effective. “A few lashes to the upper legs could help draw tears”.  Will I point her towards the gifs showing a professional disciplinarian at work? “watch how fast they spank ”, “match the power behind their strikes” I need to let her know how to strike to make this a real spanking. Will I maintain position and take it like a man, will I wimp out? I’ve settled for 30, no 40 and back to 30 again strikes on each cheek. Perhaps with the belt, my first choice but that may be too noisy – are the children asleep?
We could opt for a freshly cut switch though it might disintegrate and I’m embarrassed to admit the detour I made to find it. Last choice is the cat 5 cable silent painful but it didn’t get me there last time. I’m hoping that the number of strikes, the speed and the power will make this a success.
Success is me in tears hating every second of the ordeal but enduring it. My bottom too painful to sit on, my pain a badge of honor. A pain that frees me (for now) from that ever present feeling of guilt.
And after? She emerges, belt in hand, newly minted disciplinarian having put me in my place, reducing me to tears. I look up in fear tinged awe, both of us registering, slowly at first, this is what SHE can do to me.
To be loved like this, a love that sees past your faults and draws out the best in you. To submit to a love that’s raw and real and straight to the point. She is my Warrior princess, I want to be shaped and coaxed into her prince. My heart full of gratitude for her shaping and her coaxing. I will endure this because my betterment makes me worthy, my submission frees me. As we tread this road less traveled, she is my guide, my wife, my love.
And so it begins.
It’s a hot evening, hotter than we’re used to in the English countryside. The preamble takes place and I’m glad to have shared the information of how to make this a “memorable” ordeal. The preamble ends with a few serious swats to my seat using various implements to gauge their intensity and noise.
She’s holding the freshly cut switch the most painful of the selection, it’s been trimmed to 80 cm the length of a traditional English cane. It leaves a fresh verdant scent reminiscent of a walk in the woods. We agree that she’ll give the 40 swats in sets of 20. One side then the next, back again and finishing on my right side. I’m perched bottom in the air face buried in the bed, I brace.
spanking switch
Whap, the first one didn’t seem so bad…
Whap, whap, whap..
This is going to hurt
The self talk starts:
stay in position
Whap, whap whap – I start to squirm…
“take it you idiot”
Whap, whap, whap.
She’s silent, controlled, measured watching her strokes land, later she’ll tell me that watching me squirm left her curious as to what appeal this held for me.
“Whap, whap, whap whap…”
The self talk intensifies
“Get up, take it, straighten up”
Whap, whap… I fall off my perch flinching and squirming with every stroke.
Eventually she moves to the other side those few seconds allow me to regain some of my composure and prepare for the onslaught.
I’m almost half way through this set before the squirming starts again. More self talk.
“Be a man, be a man”
She coolly goes about her business while I squeal and squirm and bitch until we reach the end of the allotted number.
It’s done, I survived. There are no tears but this was real and painful. I’m breathing deeply waiting for the euphoria to build.
I look up at my beautiful wife and she looks down at me then calmly asks
“do you want more?”
I know why she’s asking, we both know and I can’t resist.
Another 20 to each side and off we go…
A calmness has descended upon me – I’m still for most of the rest of my strokes, I take my head out of the pillow and my chest is out whilst these blows land. It’s no less painful but I’m taking my punishment with dignity. This is the man I want to be. Still there are moments when I lose my composure but I maintain this dignified poise for most of the rest of the session.
It feels transcendent and now it’s over.
I feel the welts under my fingers and the heat emanating from them. We lie in bed side by side, hand in hand and fall into a deep sleep.
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Buy real implements. They do not have to be expensive. A kooboo cane. A delrin cane. Riding crop (could be plastic but leather is better) every month or two add one more item

The Wicked Queen

Great advice Maria. Yes, buying real implements is fun and exciting (unless you’re going to be the recipient, then it can be a little intimidating). And you’ll find that different implements have different characteristics. Some you’ll like better than others. We recommend CANE-IAC for our implements. They have a great selection of implements, are reasonably priced and they ship discreetly.

Jeff Hanson

Thanks Wicked Queen for the advice, I bought some canes from a China to save some money, took 3 months to get it at home an 3/5 canes broked in the first ten strokes, low price but low quality.

The Wicked Queen

Yeah, our first cane came from China and it wasn’t very good. In addition to caneiac, you can find a lot of spanking “implements” in a variety of unlikely places. I think that’ll be an upcoming blog post! 🙂


I so like the dread and obtaining the guts to ask a middle aged woman to spank me. I suppose
it is a mother/son spanking fetish. Never had the balls to ask mom to spank me. Wish I had.
To all you guys who did ask your mother for a spanking how did you do it? Thanks, Maria!



Hi David, I made the mistake of asking my Mom for a spanking once. I only did it however to try and avoid a spanking from my Dad. That account is included in the beginning of my Electric Cord Spanking post.


Hi Maria,

Thanks for the advice, we have bought a few more implements since this episode and my wife enjoyed using the cane. A lot of advice out there about using brushes and the like hasn’t worked for us. For a time (whilst children were out of school due to COVID) we had to be silent but now that is at an end. I’m looking forwards to learning what we can from other DD couples. I checked out Cane-iac and will do again but as you’re on the other side of the pond we bought our cane from a UK supplier. I think I’ll be a little less impatient with our next purchases.


As a teenager I wanted my mother’s spankings. Who knows why? My sisters and
brother thought it was weird.


I never asked my mother for a spanking but I did things but I was pretty sure would get me one. Couple times it worked and a couple times it didn’t. She was not a consistent spanker. One time when I was really getting it I thought this is dumb and I’ll never do it again. But after I hadn’t been spanked for a while the thoughts would come back.


Hi Joey and WQ,
What a difference a month makes… we have continued down the DD route and my wife’s spankings have become more severe. Where previously I would worry about how she felt spanking me I now worry about how my backside feels. I’m still trying to learn to hold position and I will have my 3rd tied down session pretty soon. Both of us feel that I haven’t yet been “broken” and this is what I think would be the best boost to our DD relationship. I think it will enable her to step into her power and for me to realise who is in charge. As you say WQ – we’re taking it slowly.
Some things I love – the mix between humour when I’m having my ass whipped and sternness. I catch the occasional chuckle from her. I also note an increase the affection between us, I feel like I did when we met and first fell in love and I guess she’s enjoying being treated like a princess. The release from guilt and feelings that led to the spanking.
I’ve noticed that we seem to be moving forwards in stages I’m hoping the next stage is where she will instigate the spanking without my suggesting it. She has this look that says you should be getting spanked for this which sometimes comes with a threat but she doesn’t really follow through. As I type I realise there is more I could/should do to make sure this happens.
Thank you for all you guys are doing it’s made our journey into DD a lot easier.
Best Adek.

The Wicked Queen

Hi Adek, Glad to hear of your progression down this road. I remember that feeling of coming into power the more I gave Joey discipline spankings. Sounds like your wife is well on her way! As far as her initiating it, I think that the more she becomes comfortable with her power and with the process of meting out discipline. Coupled with realizing the benefits of it, like your improved attitude and behavior…she’ll start looking for reasons to teach you a lesson. 😉


My Susan initially broke me with tickling and paddling but coupled the intense corporal punishment with humiliation. For example, I was expected to wear her pink panties on weekends, kiss her bare feet (she’s a professional runner with particularly pungent foot odor), and her nipples swell when she verbally talks down to me. She now knows I’ll become aroused merely smelling her feet or seeing her fingernails she tickles with. She loves arousing me in public so it’s obvious to others. I’ve endured 8 paddling, bare bottom, no stopping until I’m way past weeping, no safe word. It pleases and arouses her to be in charge of marital discipline. She has other ideas we have not yet explored

Robert Thomas

I need one


Love to hear about discipline being doled out to the deserving participants which is consensual which is how it must always be when DD is practiced

The Wicked Queen

Hello and thanks for visiting our site! Yes, we agree and only condone consensual domestic discipline.

M Johnson

My wife and I are using this incredibly valuable site to have her spank me. I am 9 years older and run things….she has grown much in learning to be my equal. This will hopefully seal that deal at my rear ends expense!

The Wicked Queen

Very glad to hear and thanks for using our site as a resource! Hopefully she is reading through the blogs and letting her inner power as a woman, continue to grow.


I love this. I’m glad you got a good spanking but hopefully next time it will be with a real cane so you will learn an even more painful lesson


My wife and I met in 1971. From a young age I was very interested in spanking.
Now I had to look after myself well from a very young age I am a bit of a dominant character.
So from the start my wife looked up at me. She had stopped studying and shortly after we met I pushed her to pick it up again. Well she did it successfully and with that she could start a career. However I had this wish of getting spanked by a woman, I talked about that with her and her reply was ‘I will be your ultimate dominant by not giving you what you are craving for. No sorry, giving you a beating? you must be out of your mind. Over my dead body!’
Well, in that time there was no internet, you had to live with it. In the late eighties I read in a newspaper about a meeting somewhere of people interested in bdsm.
In that time I was studying in the evenings and I went to that gathering without telling her.
It was nice to, for the first time in my life, to talk with like minded people. There were more people like me I found I was not a complete idiot.
The day after when in bed I told her about it. She was shocked and told me she had never imagined it meant so much to me.
A couple of years later on an afternoon in our bedroom, our kids were at school, we had some argument, I dont remember what it was about. But I was a bit of yelling.
Out of the blue she said ‘I am so very fed up with your yelling and sarcastic remarks. Really, now bare that butt of yours!’ I could not believe my ears. ‘WHAT??’
‘Bare that butt of yours and dont let me repeat again’. I did. She took off her slipper with a rubber sole and pulled me over her knee while she sat on the bed.
She smacked hard and long on my bare. I was in shock and very excited.
Then she stopped. My virgin butt was crimson. ‘OMG what did I do .. look at that. Sorry I guess I went to far!’ No I said you did something I had never expected and I am so very proud of you.
And I went out and bought her the biggest bouquet of roses I could get.
One week later she entered with a small parcel . It is for you!
It was a bathbrush. Well Mister you dont think I am going to hurt my hands!
Now more than 25 years later she still gives me regular maintenance spankings.
She loves it and needs no encouragement

Dan Show

Nice similar with me took many years till my wife embraced spanking. She now spanks when I do things I shouldn’t or don’t do things I should do lol. She has gotten more severe of the last few years.

The Wicked Queen

Hello Appiem and thanks for sharing your story. That is so great that she came around to be able to give you what you want/need in that regard. I’m sure after that first spanking and your improved attitude, behavior (and roses)…she probably was thinking…why didn’t I do this earlier! 😉


Thanks for your nice welcome Wicked Queen. Well my visit to that meeting where I only had a some nice conversations and a few drinks (in that time there was no internet so no chatrooms or other forums) was some kind of wake up call. She said : ‘I rather beat your butt myself than let some other woman do that !’
One of the things she found hard initially was fear of hurting me. I knew the only thing I could do was stimulating her and always react positive of what she did.
Never let her feel inadequate.
She soon experienced the improvement of our relation, which was still good but lacked some fire after a vanilla period of fifteen years. She does not spank me for breaking rules or bad behavior. It is more a stress release thing. And for that maintenance spankings work fine. Her favorite implement is a clothes brush, a wooden red painted brush with edelweiss painted on it which hangs in the hall. She also likes a wooden bathbrush she bought in Greece years ago. We were there on holidays and I was whining about all the time we spent in clothes shops where I had to comment on all clothes she tried out. She then went to the ‘Bodyshop’ where she bought that brush and gave me a hard spanking in the hotel room.
The third implement she rarely uses is a rubber tawse which gives nice marks and bruises.

The Wicked Queen

Hi again! It is interesting that you mention her initial fear of hurting you. That is quite common among couples starting down this road and quite normal. Women are natural nurturers and this goes against that. I actually am working on a post now with my thoughts about this very topic. Have a great week!

Christopher t Githens

I love sandal spanking the best.How many jelly sandals do you own?

The Wicked Queen

Hi Chris, right now, I believe I only have 2, maybe 3 pairs. 🙂


The spanking has to hurt. It is really the start at the point when the spankee wants it to be over. The spanker has to decide when it is over. Certain parameters, no injury, safe word if appropriate.

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