What is a ~REAL~ Spanking?

So what are “Real Spankings”? Well for us (and most importantly), it is consensual. Meaning both my Wife and I have already agreed to real spankings as a consequence for my transgressions and/or poor attitude. I also think it’s important to point out that the verbiage “consensual spanking”, generally has a connotation of being a fun spanking. And while it certainly can be, it can also mean domestic discipline spankings. These are spankings that have been earned from a list my Wife and I came up with and on the occasion where I get out of line.

dd fm paddle spanking

A real spanking is just that. Very REAL. Meaning there is no warm up spanking, the implement used is a pretty harsh one and the object is to teach me a lesson by way of corporal punishment. Swats are giving in control, but HARD and one right after another. If she is using a belt, punishment strap, cane or switch, the only modest break between swats is when she walks to the other side of me to spank from that new position. This provides coverage for ALL of the backside. Not just one side getting the brunt of it. My Wife is an equal opportunity butt blister-er! 🙂  If she is using the paddle (as shown above), there is no need for her to switch sides as the paddle can cover all of the butt by just changing angles a bit.

holding a bathbrushIt takes quite a bit of mental effort to submit yourself to a real spanking, especially when you truly understand how bad it is going to hurt. I would be willing to bet that most people won’t subject themselves to that. Which is fine. Perhaps my article on fun spanking will be a better and more appropriate read. But if you really feel like you want to explore what real spanking is and has to offer, then please continue to read.

So, let’s break down the components of a real spanking:

  • Communication – Yes, just like a fun spanking, a real spanking needs good solid communication beforehand. As you can imagine, this is even more important in this scenario. Again, both the spanker and the spankee should be on the same page as to whose role is what and what exactly a real spanking is. You should communicate whether or not there is going to be a safeword like like there would be in a fun spanking. In my humble opinion, there shouldn’t be the use of a safeword in a REAL spanking. BUT you need to trust your partner and your partner needs to not abuse that trust. Perhaps a good starting point would be to have a safeword but as the spankee and one agreeing to a real spanking, you shouldn’t use it unless there is an actual emergency. This is going to be hard to do because self preservation will kick in and you’ll say just about anything to stop the spanking from coming. But then you have to ask yourself…are you really ready to accept a real spanking or is it just a fantasy for you? No judgement from me. I like fantasy too and am a firm believer in “to each their own”. But again, fantasy is not on the same page as a real spanking. And as a person who has been on the receiving end of many REAL spankings, I can tell you that there is nothing “fun” about them. But they do work.
  • Implements – As this is a punishment spanking, the spanker should use an implement that is going to be quite painful. That’s what a real spanking is. A painful lesson that will punish, adjust poor attitude, improve bad behavior and prevent future occurrences.

domestic discipline spanking implements

  • Infractions – Some in a true FLR (Female Led Relationship) leave the citation of infractions solely up to the wife/girlfiend. And while my Wife can and sometimes will spank me for infractions she has deemed a “spankable offence”; for the most part, I know what the rules are and what the likely consequences will be should I break them.
  • Rules – Unlike fun spankings where the goal is fun and foreplay, Real spankings should be “all business”. They should follow a very regimented protocol to maximize their effect and hence, effectiveness. The next post we put up, will be our domestic discipline spanking rules as written by my lovely and strict wife, that we follow for almost every spanking. That list of rules will give you a good starting point to create your own, OR you may like it like it is.
  • Spanking – While the spanking rules article referenced above, goes into detail on spanking, to make this post complete, I need to at least address it at a surface level. Unlike fun spankings, there are no warm up swats, or starting off with a “nice” thuddy implement to help the spankee get through and take the harsher implements easier. No hand spanking, no rubbing his butt in between swats. NO. It is a real, and very harsh spanking from the very first swat to the last. And given one swat right after another.
  • Post Spanking – After I’ve gotten a real spanking, I’ve got (at the least), tears in my eyes and regret in my heart for being bad. She doesn’t believe in chastisement, scolding or belittling me. She loves me and I love her. I just earned a real spanking and got it. The punishment is over. She’ll usually hold me or we’ll hug and she’ll kindly tell me that I need to be good. Which I’m very eager to be at that point. Also, there is no sex after a real spanking. This wasn’t foreplay.

dominant woman

Tough Enough?
Some may think less of those who “get spanked by their wives” but I would challenge them to try and see if they are man enough to take an actual REAL spanking and be able to withstand the severe pain that comes with it. Stay in position and let her keep on wailing. I would guess that 95% of them would “tap out”. It is easy to agree to an actual, corporal punishment session but after that first lash lands (with no warm up), your brain goes into self preservation mode and most will say or do whatever they can to get out of the rest of the spanking instead of doing their best to maintain position and take whatever is given. However, I have been doing it and it has done wonders for my attitude, balance and general disposition. I don’t like these types of spanking but appreciate them for what they are and do.

Improvement In Other Areas
Lastly, these real domestic discipline sessions have helped me improve my habits and other areas in my life. We’re all humans and we all have flaws or areas that we need to work on. So when I decide to work on one of my shortcomings, I communicate that to my wife and we come up with a real spanking consequence for it. It is AMAZING how much more you find yourself keeping to task or working on your improvement, when your ass is literally on the line.

If you’re tough enough to take them and your Wife/GF is open to giving a real one…Spankings work.

Here’s an actual example of what a real spanking looks like:

You can buy this and other REAL spanking video for instant download here.

 

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Nacho

Good afternoon, last night my wife gave me a real beating, she had asked me to turn off the oven at a certain time, I started watching TV and I forgot, so the food burned and had to be thrown away. Very furious she told me to go to the room and undress everything. He took off the slipper he was wearing that were blue winter with hairs in the upper art with very flexible rubber soles, he began to whip me without mercy and without looking where he was, ass, back legs, arms head, many shoes, the pain was unbearable, This morning when I have kevantsdo and gone to the shower I have seen how the sole of the Slipper was marked all over my body. I’m sure I’ll never forget to turn off the oven.

The Wicked Queen

Hello Nacho, yes…pain can be a wonderful teacher and reminder to not forget things. Although I don’t condone spanking all over the body like that. I feel ALL real spankings while severe or harsh, should be given in control and only to the butt and upper backs of the legs area. Getting her swinging “without” looking and just hitting you all over your body sounds abusive to me. I hope you’re in a safe relationship.

Nacho

Thank you very much, it is not usual, normally the spanking area is the ass and the pakmas of the hand, this only happens when she is muty enraged

Randy

I deserve a good ass beating

Dan

My wife has been spanking me for over 15 years now and I can honestly say my my attitude and behavior has changed.

The Wicked Queen

Thank you for your comment Dan. I think most men and their wives would benefit from this sort of lifestyle (within certain parameters). My husband had said time and time again, that he’s a better man on a variety of fronts because of it.

Dave

Right now we are on a break from things. Seems like too much going on right now in the world.
I’m starting to wonder if getting back into things would normalize things a bit.

The Wicked Queen

Hi Dave, there ARE certainly a lot of things going on right now. We’re just trying to keep a positive attitude as much as possible. Hope all is well and hope your discipline returns sooner rather than later! 🙂

Antonia

Other than Mister Rogers, I don’t know a man who couldn’t benefit from a good thrashing.
Antonia

The Wicked Queen

Ha! Who knows, maybe he was the recipient of some good spankings, which was why he was so nice! 😉 LOL

Adek

Hi Joey, I commend you on being able to submit to such a painful ordeal and envy your ability to stay in position. I’ve tried a number of times but just keep moving to avoid the cane. ts a different matter when I’m restrained but I’d like to develop the strength to hold position whilst not restrained. Do you have any tips, is there a fate worst than the spanking that will result from your movement?

Hank

Our real spankings happen a lot like yours.They usually last between 3 to 5 minuets of rapid fire swats. the first swat is as hard as the last swat.When my wife tells me to assume the position she is all business from there on. She will usually ask why I am being spanked for , and giving vague answers will usually start a pre-spanking . If I have really screwed up she will tell me to leave the implements laying on the bed for future spankings later that same day.

appiem

What is a real spanking?
To me a real spanking, is a spanking which has next to a physical, also a mental impact. It does something with your mind.
A funspanking misses that mental impact.
But to me a real spanking comprises more than just harsh punishment spanking.
I think and experienced how it can declutter one’s mind.
And I dont mean it can cure a real depression. You cannot cure a depression by spankings.
A real depression, not a dip, is a serious condition for which professional help is needed.
In our life we can meet with certain obstacles which can obstruct our emotions.  
Emotions are blocked and get piled up in one’s mind, a spanking can break that block.
I never cry from pain, but for me such a hard spanking can make me shed tears and get my life back on the track.

The Wicked Queen

Hello Appiem and thank you for your comment. First off…We wholeheartedly agree that spanking is not meant to treat or cure ANY mental illness. If anyone is suffering from depression, anxiety or any other mental condition, we believe they should seek professional help as you stated. I know for my husband it can be very mentally “freeing” as well. While I DO have some implements I believe could make just about anyone cry…I do agree that most of the time Joey cries, it is because he is allowing himself to let go. Great comment Appiem!

Intenseswitch

You touched on a lot of things that a real spanking is. I totally agree, a “real spanking,” no matter who is VC receiving it malw or female, the goal is produce real crying as quickly as possible. It whould be 10/90% crying ratio. Only the first 10% of the VC spanking is from the moment the first swat happen to the moment you lose yoyr composure and your cryibg freely. The remainder 90% of the spanking continues while you are bawling and sobbing. A “real adult spanking” wearher or not Im giving one to my girlfriend or recieving one from her has thise basic components.
No protection: It starts on the bare from the very first whack.
-No Warm up: It starts with an implement from the very first whack .
Instant Maximum intensity: Instantaneously fast and furious rapid-fire whacks, shock and awe beginning. As fast as the swats can be givin, from the very first whack to the very last.
-Instant Maximum Force: As hard as the whacks can be given from the very first whack to the very last.
-No Swat Restrictions: It’s unlimited swats, no specificed number of whacks, it will onlt stop when the one giving the spanking feels like stopping.
NoTime Restriction: There is no countdown timer, it will continue for as long as the spanker desire.
No Safe Word: Nothing you say will stop the spanking or slow down the intensity.

The Wicked Queen

Hello Intenseswitch and thanks for your comment and thoughts. I’m not familiar with the term “VC spanking”. What does VC stand for?

dana

I think this is one good example of a what a real spanking can be. When I was growing up, we got real spankings. Every household that used spanking as a method of punishment was real. In every school that used corporal punishment, it was real. There were numerous ways it was administered, and all of them were real.

What all these real examples of real spankings had in common was that the disciplinarian, or the authority under which they operated, decided what to administer and how to administer it. That’s the criteria I use for real. For a disciplinarian to have control over things, they must be making the decisions and determining what is needed for the circumstances at hand. That can look quite different from one relationship to the next, or one spanking to the next.

In a consensual relationship, you agree to conditions and boundaries and follow them. So the disciplinarian’s control can be limited from the beginning. I see that as an overriding authority, like a state law or school policy that guides the one in charge. With DD, the one being spanked is a voice in this higher authority. That makes it, at least to some degree, self-discipline. It’s not less real, but it’s different than the non-consensual form of real discipline. In any case, methods and rules are decided by people with different needs and opinions.

The Wicked Queen

Great thoughts! Thanks for sharing!

Jennifer

Hi, Love your blogging and reading about your relationship!
I don’t think I’ve ever given my husband beatings quite as sound as some that you’ve described but I can tell you he has received quite a few really good beatings along with many sound spankings. All of which have caused him to make the needed changes in his life and come to dread and/or try to avoid any and all trips over my lap.
I spank and paddle for real also, knowing and seeing the positive difference it makes in our relationship.
Reading one of the letters I see that someone leaves implements out purposely. I too have done this but usually it’s for him to see when he comes home before I do, or if I leave before him.
Also if we have guests over and I decide he’ll be on the receiving end after they leave, I’ve brought the hairbrush downstairs and set it on a coffee table, once I brought the belt downstairs and casually put it over the back of the sofa. No one has mentioned anything and probably not thought anything of it but my husband knows what it means especially after he sees it, we make eye contact and I give him a little smile or a raised eyebrow.
Once his family was visiting and I thought he was being a bit too boisterous and outspoken having opposing views than theirs. He was warned to calm himself a couple of times but ultimately didn’t. I finally stopped him, told him to go upstairs and get my hairbrush for me but added for him to stay up there five minutes as I thought he needed a ‘time out’ to just calm down a little. We discussed it a little but he was able to see it my way and went upstairs. I texted him while he was up there to go to the bathroom and masturbate (I wanted the testosterone drained!) I called him down a few minutes later and he was much more contrite. I ran the wooden brush through my hair a couple of times and set it on the coffee table saying “I’ll use it later.”
As soon as everyone left, down came my husband’s jeans and underwear and he received the spanking of his life right there in the living room. He’s been much better controlling himself since that time but I do sometimes put him over my lap before company arrives just to make sure.
Jennifer

The Wicked Queen

Hi Jennifer and thank you for the kind words and for providing some insight into your spanking relationship! I’ve often said, and still contend that men are just grown up boys with more expensive toys and less accountability or ramifications for their actions. I know first hand how effective a real spanking for my husband is and he even admits that they have helped curb his errant behavior and cultivated him towards being a kinder person. I love the examples you’ve provided as we’ve experienced similar issues/events as well. If you haven’t already, check out “Sandal Associations” where the sandals I wear, indicate a much harsher implement he’ll get spanked with, if he continues being bad. Great for parties as just a few dangles or clicks of my sandal, can have him change course on the spot. Also, I think you’ll like and appreciate “Pre-Company Spankings” which often prevent him acting unruly while company is here. Hope to hear from you again in the not too distant future. 🙂

Peter

“Tough enough?” and “Improvement in other areas”:
I could not agree more.
Real punishment spankings WORK.

The Wicked Queen

We certainly think so! 😉

John Smith

Agreed, I think many people don’t understand the macho part of spanking. A little boy can be petulant with a woman and refuse to be brought into line, but it takes a man to take a spanking to restore harmony. Too many boys take the view that it is the wife who sacrifices to restore harmony, which I believe is a wrong view.

My wife considers me to be the leader of the family, but leaders need to be accountable and lead from the front as well.

A difference with us is that it happens before sex, the idea being that I have to earn that right, i.e. being a man, facing up to my errors and leading from the front.

The Wicked Queen

Hi John and thanks for your thoughts and insight. I really liked your sentence, “My wife considers me to be the leader of the family, but leaders need to be accountable and lead from the front as well.” Excellent!

John Smith

You’re welcome. Do you have something similar with your wife (say with who leads and accountability)?

The Wicked Queen

Sorry, I’m not sure what you’re asking? And I ~am~ the wife.

John Smith

My bad. I was wondering if you have a similar situation in your married life to ours regarding your husband leading and you holding him accountable (paradoxical as this may sound).

The Wicked Queen

Ah, I see. So yeah, Joey is very much a strong figure in our home, and I DO love that about him. But I would say we’re more of a partnership on household decisions/duties, rather than either one of us “leading” completely. 🙂

John Smith

Are you aware of any other couples where the man is the leader, but where he sees taking spanking as being an integral part of being a big, tough man?

The Wicked Queen

Our only insight into other spanking couples has been this blog and our interaction therein. We’ve corresponded with a few couples who seem to be very much like us, but I don’t know for sure, if the husband is seen as the leader in those relationships.

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