What is a ~REAL~ Spanking?

So what are “Real Spankings”? Well for us and most importantly it is consensual. Meaning both my Wife and I have already agreed to real spanking consequence for me. But even with the verbiage “consensual spanking”, that generally has a connotation of being a fun spanking. And while it certainly can be, it can also mean domestic discipline spankings. These are spankings that have been earned from a list my Wife and I came up with and on the occasion where I get out of line.

A real spanking is just that. Very REAL. Meaning there is no warm up spanking, the implement used is a pretty harsh one and the object is to teach me a lesson by way of corporal punishment. Swats are giving in control, but HARD and one right after another. The only modest break between swats is when she walks to the other side of me to spank from that new position. With a belt/strap, cane or switch, this provides coverage for ALL of the backside. Not just one side getting the brunt of it. My Wife is an equal opportunity butt blister-er! 🙂

spanking cane marks

It takes quite a bit of mental effort to submit yourself to a real spanking, especially when you truly understand how bad it is going to hurt. I would be willing to bet that most people won’t subject themselves to that. Which is fine. Perhaps my article on fun spanking will be a better and more appropriate read. But if you really feel like you want to explore what real spanking is and has to offer, then please continue to read.

So, let’s break down the components of a real spanking:

  • Communication – Yes, just like a fun spanking, a real spanking needs good solid communication beforehand. As you can imagine, this is even more important in this scenario. Again, both the spanker and the spankee should be on the same page as to whose role is what and what exactly a real spanking is. You should communicate whether or not there is going to be a safeword like like there would be in a fun spanking. In my humble opinion, there shouldn’t be the use of a safeword in a REAL spanking. BUT you need to trust your partner and your partner needs to not abuse that trust. Perhaps a good starting point would be to have a safeword but as the spankee and one agreeing to a real spanking, you shouldn’t use it unless there is an actual emergency. This is going to be hard to do because self preservation will kick in and you’ll say just about anything to stop the spanking from coming. But then you have to ask yourself…are you really ready to accept a real spanking or is it just a fantasy for you? No judgement from me. I like fantasy too and am a firm believer in “to each their own”. But again, fantasy is not on the same page as a real spanking. And as a person who has been on the receiving end of many REAL spankings, I can tell you that there is nothing “fun” about them. But they do work.
  • Implements – As this is a punishment spanking, the spanker should use an implement that is going to be quite painful. That’s what a real spanking is. A painful lesson that will punish, adjust poor attitude, improve bad behavior and prevent future occurrences.
  • Infractions – Some in a true FLR (Female Led Relationship) leave the citation of infractions solely up to the wife/girlfiend. And while my Wife can and sometimes will spank me for infractions she has deemed a “spankable offence”; for the most part, I know what the rules are and what the likely consequences will be should I break them.
  • Rules – Unlike fun spankings where the goal is fun and foreplay, Real spankings should be “all business”. They should follow a very regimented protocol to maximize their effect and hence, effectiveness. The next post we put up, will be our domestic discipline spanking rules as written by my lovely and strict wife, that we follow for almost every spanking. That list of rules will give you a good starting point to create your own, OR you may like it like it is.
  • Spanking – While the spanking rules article referenced above, goes into detail on spanking, to make this post complete, I need to at least address it at a surface level. Unlike fun spankings, there are no warm up swats, or starting off with a “nice” thuddy implement to help the spankee get through and take the harsher implements easier. No hand spanking, no rubbing his butt in between swats. NO. It is a real, and very harsh spanking from the very first swat to the last. And given one swat right after another.
  • Post Spanking – After I’ve gotten a real spanking, I’ve got (at the least), tears in my eyes and regret in my heart for being bad. She doesn’t believe in chastisement, scolding or belittling me. She loves me and I love her. I just earned a real spanking and got it. The punishment is over. She’ll usually hold me or we’ll hug and she’ll kindly tell me that I need to be good. Which I’m very eager to be at that point. Also, there is no sex after a real spanking. This wasn’t foreplay.

dominant woman

Tough Enough?
Some may think less of those who “get spanked by their wives” but I would challenge them to try and see if they are man enough to take an actual REAL spanking and be able to withstand the severe pain that comes with it. Stay in position and let her keep on wailing. I would guess that 95% of them would “tap out”. It is easy to agree to an actual, corporal punishment session but after that first lash lands (with no warm up), your brain goes into self preservation mode and most will say or do whatever they can to get out of the rest of the spanking instead of doing their best to maintain position and take whatever is given. However, I have been doing it and it has done wonders for my attitude, balance and general disposition. I don’t like these types of spanking but appreciate them for what they are and do.

Improvement In Other Areas
Lastly, these real domestic discipline sessions have helped me improve my habits and other areas in my life. We’re all humans and we all have flaws or areas that we need to work on. So when I decide to work on one of my shortcomings, I communicate that to my wife and we come up with a real spanking consequence for it. It is AMAZING how much more you find yourself keeping to task or working on your improvement, when your ass is literally on the line.

If you’re tough enough to take them and your Wife/GF is open to giving a real one…Spankings work.

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Good afternoon, last night my wife gave me a real beating, she had asked me to turn off the oven at a certain time, I started watching TV and I forgot, so the food burned and had to be thrown away. Very furious she told me to go to the room and undress everything. He took off the slipper he was wearing that were blue winter with hairs in the upper art with very flexible rubber soles, he began to whip me without mercy and without looking where he was, ass, back legs, arms head, many shoes, the pain was unbearable, This morning when I have kevantsdo and gone to the shower I have seen how the sole of the Slipper was marked all over my body. I’m sure I’ll never forget to turn off the oven.

The Wicked Queen

Hello Nacho, yes…pain can be a wonderful teacher and reminder to not forget things. Although I don’t condone spanking all over the body like that. I feel ALL real spankings while severe or harsh, should be given in control and only to the butt and upper backs of the legs area. Getting her swinging “without” looking and just hitting you all over your body sounds abusive to me. I hope you’re in a safe relationship.


Thank you very much, it is not usual, normally the spanking area is the ass and the pakmas of the hand, this only happens when she is muty enraged


I deserve a good ass beating


My wife has been spanking me for over 15 years now and I can honestly say my my attitude and behavior has changed.

The Wicked Queen

Thank you for your comment Dan. I think most men and their wives would benefit from this sort of lifestyle (within certain parameters). My husband had said time and time again, that he’s a better man on a variety of fronts because of it.


Right now we are on a break from things. Seems like too much going on right now in the world.
I’m starting to wonder if getting back into things would normalize things a bit.

The Wicked Queen

Hi Dave, there ARE certainly a lot of things going on right now. We’re just trying to keep a positive attitude as much as possible. Hope all is well and hope your discipline returns sooner rather than later! 🙂


Other than Mister Rogers, I don’t know a man who couldn’t benefit from a good thrashing.


Hi Joey, I commend you on being able to submit to such a painful ordeal and envy your ability to stay in position. I’ve tried a number of times but just keep moving to avoid the cane. ts a different matter when I’m restrained but I’d like to develop the strength to hold position whilst not restrained. Do you have any tips, is there a fate worst than the spanking that will result from your movement?


Our real spankings happen a lot like yours.They usually last between 3 to 5 minuets of rapid fire swats. the first swat is as hard as the last swat.When my wife tells me to assume the position she is all business from there on. She will usually ask why I am being spanked for , and giving vague answers will usually start a pre-spanking . If I have really screwed up she will tell me to leave the implements laying on the bed for future spankings later that same day.


What is a real spanking?
To me a real spanking, is a spanking which has next to a physical, also a mental impact. It does something with your mind.
A funspanking misses that mental impact.
But to me a real spanking comprises more than just harsh punishment spanking.
I think and experienced how it can declutter one’s mind.
And I dont mean it can cure a real depression. You cannot cure a depression by spankings.
A real depression, not a dip, is a serious condition for which professional help is needed.
In our life we can meet with certain obstacles which can obstruct our emotions.  
Emotions are blocked and get piled up in one’s mind, a spanking can break that block.
I never cry from pain, but for me such a hard spanking can make me shed tears and get my life back on the track.

The Wicked Queen

Hello Appiem and thank you for your comment. First off…We wholeheartedly agree that spanking is not meant to treat or cure ANY mental illness. If anyone is suffering from depression, anxiety or any other mental condition, we believe they should seek professional help as you stated. I know for my husband it can be very mentally “freeing” as well. While I DO have some implements I believe could make just about anyone cry…I do agree that most of the time Joey cries, it is because he is allowing himself to let go. Great comment Appiem!

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