While the majority of the spankings I get now are disciplinary spankings, on occasion I still get “fun” spankings. I also wanted to create a post talking about how to give and receive a “fun” spanking.
So my definition of a fun spanking is where two consenting adults agree to incorporate spanking into their sexplay. Spanking before sex is FUN. Sex after spanking is AWESOME! I highly recommend it. 🙂
Key elements to a fun spanking are:
WARM UP – If this is going to be an enjoyable experience, then a “warm up” spanking should be given. The easiest way to give a warm up spanking is by using your hand on your partners butt. First over clothing, rubbing the bottom between every few swats, then on the underwear, then on the bare butt.
You’ll notice that when you pull down the underwear, the butt will be pink or lightly red. The warm up spanking is is full swing! You can then get an implement. A good warm up implement is something that is more “thuddy” instead of “stingy”. Thuddy implements will have some sting to them but the recipient will feel more impact instead of sting. A rubber soled (not jelly) sandal might be a good candidate and then give mild swats, then a little harder (medium) swats. And again, rubbing the butt in between every few swats. Moving on to a heavy and wide leather belt can be a good progression up from there BUT…you have to make sure you’ve got your belt skills down as it can turn into a very “not fun” spanking if you don’t. See all the ins and outs of belt spankings here.
Anyway, warm up spanking will allow the spankee to take a longer and harder spanking, and make the session a sexy, fun and erotic session for both parties.
COMMUNICATION – I strongly recommend that before a fun spanking starts, that you talk to each other about the wants and needs of each other. Talk about thoughts or spanking scenes that excite you both and how that might play out. If you feel weird talking about it, suggest writing spanking scenes to each other to communicate what each other is “into”. (On a side note: If you are trying to introduce your partner to the world of spanking, the key is to start slow. Don’t write about a spanking scene that is so hardcore, that he or she is like, “Freak Show!” and is OUT. Even if they don’t leave, it will put up walls to the whole spanking idea.) Writing or talking about spanking each other would get my partner and I aroused and had us both looking forward to the spanking to take place. BTW – most scenes don’t involve dungeons and dragons, whips and chains, etc. For example: I wrote an upcoming trip to Vegas where I would push off her sandal with my foot just to be a brat and how she spanked me for it shortly after we got to our hotel room. Well, on the plane I did just that and in the hotel room, she took her sandal and belt to me! 🙂 I also highly recommend talking about the spanking session AFTERWARDS. Not like right after and maybe even not that same day but shortly thereafter to discuss (again write it to each other if it feels awkward to talk about initially), what did you both like, didn’t like…”this didn’t hurt that much” or “I like it when you did this but not this.” or…”This hurt TOO much!” which lead to…
SAFEWORD – Could be part of the communication bullet point but I think it is SO IMPORTANT that it should have its own. A safeword is a word or phrase that allows the spankee to indicate that the spanking it is getting too rough or harsh. The purpose of the safeword is to allow getting into a spanking scene without stopping it prematurely. Or to not totally kill the erotic-ness of the moment by yelling, “FUCK! OK! Stop!!” That would be awkward. You can indicate that it is getting to your limits by using a safeword like, “Hold me” to indicate you’re done. Or “I’ll behave” indicating that your almost to your limit. Some people use colors. Yellow meaning “getting close to my pain threshold” and Red meaning “done”. I personally like more subtle or intimate cues instead of calling out colors in the middle of a spanking, but you can use whatever word(s) you want and it can be fun to create them and talk about it with your spanking partner. But it is important to talk about what they mean and make sure both of your are on the same page. And most importantly is to ALWAYS honor each others safeword. If you don’t, you’ll lose all trust with your partner, turn a fun, erotic spanking scene and foreplay into a train wreck and likely end the possibility of spanking scenes moving forward. Safewords can be the same word or phrase for both or could be unique to each person and specific to their personality and likes. By understanding and using safewords, you’ll learn more about your partners limits moving forward which is great for future spankings.
IMPLEMENTS – For a fun spanking to be FUN, it is very important to know and understand your spanking implements. Nothing fucks up a fun spanking like getting a swat from an implement that is way beyond your pain desire/threshold. “RED! Are you crazy? What the hell is that?” You can imagine the fun and sexy conversation that is going to ensue after that.
If you and your partner are open to it, I highly recommend spanking each other with various spanking implements or “toys” that you’ll be playing with. This will give each a good understanding of how something feels. Not just on the receiving end but on the giving end as well. For instance, if you stand too close when swinging a belt or a strap, the wrap-around to the side of the hip or even the front of the spankee could end the FUN immediately.
Not only do belts and straps feel and sting differently than a sandal or a bathbrush, but different belts/straps will feel and sting differently depending on weight, flexibility, width and how they are swung. BTW – When dealing with straps of any kind, it is always good idea to swing lightly at first to get a feel for it and to adjust your aim as needed. And there is this dreaded thing called an “edge” swat that should probably not have an appearance in a fun spanking scene.
The first spanking I gave my girlfriend was with a rubber belt and I was ever so careful because I didn’t want her to be turned off and not want to do it anymore. The light swats to her bottom ended up being a great warmup spanking and after about 10 swats, she asked, “Is that all the harder you can spank?” So I turned it up from light to medium swats and then even finished with a couple hard ones that she handled just fine. We were both very aroused and the sex was exPLOSIVE!
Spanking can be so much fun but the right elements have to be present for a good experience for both!
To your spanking stations!